A few days ago I completed a word puzzle on Facebook. We had to write down the first three words that we saw. Mine turned out to be “flow, magic & bliss”. I was pretty happy to see that and the timing was interesting to say the very least. I had just gone through a few REALLY ROUGH DAYS prior to that moment, and it involved some jalapeño potato chips, 88% dark chocolate and a massive case of self doubt.
Yes, it’s a new year with new energy and new goals. I like to think of it as the perfect time to reset and renew from the inside out. For many of us, we feel a renewed sense of purpose at the start of a new year and I felt a very positive shift in my energy after the holidays were over. I was excited about work that I have planned and I can already feel the days getting longer. In my opinion, there was a lot to celebrate. But then I had those few days where I was questioning everything and my dark side was taking over.
So, what was going on with me and what hit me SO hard? I’m generally a positive person. Hell, it’s even my blood type (B+)!! But there I was, literally on the floor with my demons in full swing doubting my self, my work, and those horrible thoughts that usually only come after spending (too much) time with my family, “Who am I to think I can have all that, BE all that? Who am I to think I deserve good things and that good things will happen in my life? Who am I to think that life does not have to be hard and a constant struggle?”
For some reason my shadow side was coming out hard and I had to figure out why… the potato chips and chocolate had a story to tell! Like most of you, I spent quite a bit of time with my family over the holidays. That brings with it joy but also stress and the usual tensions that can result. But this year we had the new family dynamic without my mom and then a fire at my Dad’s house on New Year’s night. Luckily he was not hurt, but there is significant damage to part of the house and lots of time spent sorting things out. Ok universe, enough already! Oh, and I should know how to handle this by now, right?
My big breakdown led to my big breakthrough – I was NOT walking my talk through all of this. I had put on my brave face, my heart was not open and I had kind of shut down. I was in helper mode, and in order to not get overwhelmed, I went into energy conservation mode. My normally happy, energetic and joyful spirit was blocked and I needed to open that back up. In addition, I was in desperate need of love and affection, so I turned to chocolate to get the sweetness that was in short supply during such a stressful time. As for the potato chips – they were readily available and I found myself reaching for them instead of preparing nutritious, healthy food.
Seriously, that FB word puzzle could not have come at a better time!! Now it was time to thank the universe and reset my spirit and soul.
How do you bounce back? Get back in the flow, believe in magic and follow your bliss!!
Flow – Trust the universe and get back in the flow. Having a breakdown is normal, and totally healthy. It’s whether you get back up that matters most. How do you pick yourself up? What’s the RX that’s needed? I joked about the potato chips and chocolate (for dinner!!!), but sometimes you simply have to honor the craving see where it takes you. The craving has a story to tell and mine was telling me that I was neglecting myself. I deserved better self care and nourishment. The very next day I made a big pot of tasty, nourishing and cleansing chicken soup and went to zumba class. I got back into my healthy flow and restored my body, mind and spirit.
Magic – Believe in magic, engage in some silliness, dance, get playful and do whatever it takes. Embrace your inner child. I realized that I really needed to dance and experience joyful movement. I love to move and it fills me with joy and makes me very happy. I also had to get into my silliness space. So, I took my own advice and danced, played with my dog, and rolled around in the snow!
Bliss – Follow your Bliss. What does that look like for you and when is the last time you permitted that in your life? Again I had to look at my goals for my work and my life. This can be overwhelming, but in this case it helped to ground me and make me smile. I love what I’m doing and putting out there to the world. That one little word puzzle helped me to realize that. Oh, and the help of a wonderful, trusted friend who knew that I needed that little reminder more than I did. If you are reading this, you know who you are!!
