You are in the doctor’s office waiting to be called in for your appointment and decide to check your social feed. You see a post which makes your blood pressure rise. Yet, another friend is getting married, she looks so happy with a flashy diamond ring posted right in the middle of your page. Ugh. You feel deflated, alone, when will it be your turn to make the announcement of your big day. Rather than take some time to breathe, give yourself some space to digest the news, you respond quickly, “OMG, I am so thrilled for you, congratulations,” and then the nurse calls your name.
This is one of the many ways reactivity shows up on social media. Reactivity is how you make the uncomfortable, comfortable. The things you do, say (and not say) to avoid what you are feeling. You see one of the reasons you react to something when someone else may not is because you have an undigested emotion inside of you. Yes, somewhere along the way you may have come across those same feelings, alone, rejected, unattractive, and unworthy. Only instead of allowing yourself to feel them, you choose to ignore or deflect yourself from them by responding quickly (I am so happy for you), that is until they reinvigorate themselves through some damn social feed. Ugh.
You see similar to food, your emotions, all of them (even the so called “bad” ones) can give you energy. However, this can only happen when you assimilate them. Once you gain the energy from feeling, what once triggered you, becomes neutralized. Without energy your social media feed can become a platform for revisiting, rehashing reactivity leaving you feeling bloated with yuck!
It isn’t until you give yourself a chance to feel rather than react to your emotions, the thing that triggers you (e.g. social posts, thoughts of your ex-husband) will begin to subside. In other words, it is not about the post, it is about emotions looking to be completed. This means you take a second to notice the heaviness in your heart, tension in your neck or lump in your throat. Here are five way to release triggered responses:
- Know when you are being triggered. Triggers happen when you get a sudden charge of reactivity. They most often reveal themselves through thinking, or ruminating over a subject. Triggers are what get you to make a quick remark or comment. Never ever respond from a trigger.
- 30 Second Pause. It can take anywhere between 30-90 seconds to digest an emotion. This means you allow yourself to feel (rather than think about) what is coming up. Put your phone down, take your hands off your computer. Stretch your arms over your head. Set your gaze in another direction with your eyes. This will help bring you back to the here and now (in your body).
- Breathe. Keep in mind one breath means you take an inhale and an exhale. When you are under reactivity it is likely you are over inhaling which will only inflate those toxic thoughts.
- Notice Sensations. Reactivity feeds off numbness. This means you have little movement (sensation) inside your body. Before you respond to a post, take a moment and tune into the sights, sounds and smells around you.
- Be Realistic. Keep in mind, social media posts represent a moment in time. Consider you may actually be witnessing someone else in a trigger. They too may be quick to post rather than feel what is coming up inside themselves to be acknowledged and healed.
