“Compassionate people are boundaried people.” ~ Brene Brown
Like many highly sensitive women, you may feel that you don’t have control over what comes into your energy field. Without energetic boundaries in place, such sensitivity can create leaks in your energy field where negative energy can get in. This happens more often when you feel physically or emotionally vulnerable. In these situations, it may be difficult for you to zip up your energetic suit and sustain healthy energetic boundaries.
Sound familiar? Just as a scuba diver puts on a protective suit before she swims with the sharks; you too, must zip up your energetic suit before you enter any negatively charged situation. Being highly sensitive makes you vulnerable to others’ energies, especially to them infiltrating your energy field.
By setting energetic boundaries, you become a more loving, compassionate person. Such “love fences” allow you to compassionately engage with others, but still protect yourself from any unwanted energy. It is possible to be loving with another person while still holding them accountable. Not holding them accountable for their energy or choices actually impedes their personal and spiritual growth.
Establishing energetic boundaries with those closest to you is not always easy because you are more sensitive to the emotional pull they have on your heart. You may even want their happiness more than they want it for themselves. And, you can become so involved in trying to generate it for them that the effort takes a toll on you. At its best, the resulting energetic drain makes you vulnerable to compassion fatigue. At its worst, it can stress your heart, resulting in exhaustion, anxiety, or depression, and increased blood pressure or cardiac disease.
Being compassionate doesn’t mean you have to engage in the negative energy or process that someone is discharging. Zipping up your energetic suit keeps you from taking on their stuff, and instead support them from a place where you feel centered and empowered. You can still be compassionate, but refuse to play a part in their drama.
For instance, when someone wants to vent about a particular issue, you can listen with an open heart, but refrain from taking on their process, giving unsolicited advice, or trying to fix the situation. When you zip up your energetic suit before becoming a sounding board, you can lovingly support while remaining calm and nonreactive.
To disengage from people who easily drain you, you need to become aware of what triggers your reactions and take time to energetically detox after the encounter. In these situations, such “energy bullies,” can push your emotional buttons and then use your reaction to bring power and energy to themselves.
Zip up your protective energetic suit by practicing these 5 steps:
- Give yourself the permission to pause. When you feel anxious or emotionally vulnerable, take a few deep breaths, drop into your heart space, and check in with yourself. This pause provides a break from the situation to gain healthy detachment. It allows you to drop into your heart space and tune in to what’s going on within you. This interrupts any knee-jerk reaction so you don’t displace your negative emotions onto someone else. Then, you can consciously observe the situation from a more expansive perspective and respond from your heart. Be mindful that the stronger your reaction is to a particular person or situation, the more vulnerable you are. If you still feel vulnerable after you’ve paused, don’t put yourself in the situation until your protective energetic suit is fully zipped up. Get some fresh air, go for a walk, tell the person you’ll call them back, or reschedule the meeting until your energetic boundaries are in place
- Zip up your protective energetic suit: Close your eyes, put your hand on your chest, and bring your attention to your heart center. Take a few deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling through your heart. Now visualize a pearl of while light here. Feel the light filling your heart space and expanding outward in all directions. Imagine white light radiating out from your heart so it creates an expansive energy field that completely surrounds you. Beam this energy out from your heart until it fills the room. Imagine it as “divine light shield,” protecting you from any negative energy that comes at you. This allows you to sustain an open heart while simultaneously removing yourself from any negative energies you encounter. Keep your protective energetic boundaries in place by continuing to beam love and light into the space around you as enter the situation.
- Enter the situation slowly, with loving intent, and higher awareness. Make sure you are fully centered and energetically zipped up as your emotional buttons are likely to be pushed. As you engage with others, keep your heart open and emitting white light. This overrides any lower vibrations that you may pick up. By raising your vibration, you can radiate love from a distance without compromising yourself. Keep your interactions short and sweet, end conversations swiftly and with compassion, and lessen the time you spend in a potentially toxic situation. Use the broken record technique, which is repeating a positive affirmation to reduce any emotional reactions such as: “Don’t go there, or bless and release.”
- Honor your need for solitude to emotionally detox and restore your energies. Like a sponge, your sensitive energy field is porous and can soak up the energy from others. This often leads to compassion fatigue or empathy overload. It’s essential that you continuously detox any negative energies you may have absorbed. Take deep cleansing breaths, shower or bath, drink lots of water, and spend time in nature to clear your energy field. All of these will ground you and bring you back into energetic balance.
- Alchemize your negative feelings into positive feedback. It’s important to release any negative feelings that came up for you through journaling, walking, or talking with a friend. Ask your heart, “Is this an emotional reaction that I’ve seen or felt before? How is this person or situation helping me to spiritually grow? What is this person or situation showing me about my own patterns?” You don’t need to force a new response just allow this moment of self-awareness to sink in. By remaining in your heart space, you can alchemize any negative feelings and turn them into positive feedback.
By zipping up your energetic suit, you create healthy relationships that support your soul’s evolution as well as enhance your life. You love and value yourself by showing others how you wish to be treated. This empowers you to be response-able, “able to respond” even in the most challenging situations.
