Knowing your Enneagram type can be transformational. For me, it was life-changing. The moment I first understood my Enneagram type is indelibly etched in my consciousness. It was 2006. I was sitting at a workshop in San Francisco with my Enneagram teacher, Russ Hudson. As Russ talked about the many ways the Enneagram Type 3 abandoned themselves to prove their worth and value, I felt deep moments of sorrow and recognition. This was how I’d been living my life. I grew up in Boston’s public housing projects for my first 22 years and went on to Harvard University to earn both Masters and doctoral degrees and then as a full-time faculty member. My life journey included working hard, overcoming obstacles and achieving, achieving, achieving.
Before this workshop with Russ, I’d been to a couple of weekend Enneagram workshops 12 years prior and a weekend workshop with Russ just two months earlier. In fact, that last workshop was one year to the day after my life-changing accident. One year to the day. There are no accidents.
I knew the Enneagram was a powerful teaching with potential for transformation. I just didn’t see how it applied to me. That is, until I experienced its depth on a personal level when I heard myself in the detailed description of one of the types. Now that I knew, the power of its teaching was palpable.
As I woke to the unconscious patterns of my personality, I began to more deeply see the truth of who I was. I began to let go of the unconscious need to prove that I had value. The more I released, the more free I became.
In each of the nine Enneagram types, the personality is trying to compensate for a perception that it has lost something from its true nature. For me it was the loss of the sense of inherent value. For others, it’s the loss of the inherent gifts of strength, unity, sacredness, freedom, identity, clarity, faith and love.
As Russ and his co-teacher, Gayle Scott, began teaching the three centers of the Enneagram; a new awareness arose in me. Something was different. I was learning with my whole self, not just with my mind. My body and my heart were participating fully in the learning and the impact of the teaching was felt by all of me, not just my intellect. Little did I know that this was the beginning of tapping into the wisdom of my body and the tenderness of my heart to guide me along my inner journey. I now treasure the guidance and depth that my heart and body provide.
Although I was mesmerized by Russ and Gayle’s teaching and I was learning so much, it wasn’t until they spoke of the heart center, and specifically the Enneagram Type 3, that I was completely blown away. I could feel the well of emotion and grief rise up in me like a volcano. I dissolved into tears as Russ and Gayle talked about the endless efforts of the Type 3 to achieve success to cover up an unconscious fear of being worthless. I began to see how my life fit this pattern. Until this turning point moment, I had no idea that I was living my life to overcome this unconscious belief.
During a break in the workshop, I told Russ I thought my Enneagram personality type was consistent with Type 3. He kindly nodded in agreement. I recall telling him my reason for being in the world and going through everything I had up to that point, was to help people deepen their connection to the Divine. As the words came through me, I had no idea where they came from but somehow, I knew they were true. Something shifted sharply in my life at that precise moment.
The coincidence of meeting Russ one year to the day after my accident and having an open airline ticket to San Francisco to attend this workshop and deep learning opportunity felt so guided. I knew there was a greater force at work and that my life was really changing.
This experience in Part I Training of the Enneagram Institute at the Mercy Center was so profound for me that I decided to continue with Part II in the Fall of 2006. This time brought me to Kirkridge, a beautiful spot in the Poconos region of Pennsylvania. It was here that I first met Don Riso, Russ’ teaching and business partner. I felt that Don really saw me, the real me and not my degrees, accomplishments, etc. He helped me to see myself more fully and not be distracted by the ego’s desire to take me back to the world of constant “doing.” I was learning how to integrate my “being” into my life and Don and Russ were instrumental in this.
I continued my Enneagram Institute training for several years, becoming certified in their teaching in 2009. I carry a deep respect and eternal gratitude for the teachings of the Enneagram and for my teachers, Don Riso, Russ Hudson and Gayle Scott. Don’s passing in 2012 left me missing him terribly. He was my rock during what seemed like an insurmountable personal crisis. He and his teachings remain close in my heart and he’s made a mark on my soul.
These teachings and my learning opened a doorway into my soul. They helped me see, with more clarity and compassion, the unconscious patterns of my ego. For me, this was staying busy … constantly “doing.” I had abandoned my own heart’s desire so I could attempt to prove to another that I had value. How many of us do this in both overt and subtle ways? How have you abandoned your heart?
Truly examining our personality requires self-compassion and self-reflection. All of us have blind spots around our behaviors. As a coach, I help people to compassionately remove the veils that are holding them back from living as who they truly are. In addition to the Enneagram teachings, I use a variety of tools including meditation, journaling, recalling events and experiences that make us come alive so we can look at what gets in the way of pursuing our dreams.
The process of uncovering one’s Enneagram type is a journey of transformation and liberation. I guide people to determine their type and to uncover what needs to be let go of to become free from their personalities. Together we explore their personalities, behavior patterns and their reactions. I partner with them to identify, understand, and fully embrace their Enneagram type so they can look more deeply underneath to see the truth of who they really are.
Embracing our Enneagram personality type guides us deeper and deeper into an understanding of our true nature. By bringing greater awareness and presence to our personality structures, we wake up to our truth. With compassion for ourselves and for others, we use the Enneagram to live a more authentic life. Learning about the Enneagram is personal. Its teaching is imbued with grace and wisdom and the power to change lives. Mine is one.
