ME time… Doesn’t that sound lovely?
Do you indulge in ME time? What does it look like? Are you so lost in your busy life that you don’t know? I understand!
Every afternoon, before my family comes home, I sit in my family room, drink a cup of tea and read a book. I love that I am able to enjoy this everyday. It wasn’t always this way though. My afternoons used to consist of beating myself up for all of the things I wanted to get done but didn’t. Then, stressing about how I would get it all done the next day with everything else already on the plate! Sound familiar?
As I work through my self-discovery journey, I realize that acts of self-compassion must be done everyday to ensure that I am always pouring from a full cup. Self-Compassion is about creating habits that recharge our souls on a daily basis. You giving to and receiving from YOU!
- Do any of these statements sound like anything you have ever said to yourself
- I’m not good enough…
- I’m not smart enough, don’t have enough credentials, schooling, etc…
- I don’t have enough money…
- I don’t have the time…
- That’s great for you but it’s not for me…
Would you say these things to a child or your best friend? Somehow, I doubt it. Rather, you would nurture and support them, giving them the confidence and love they need to keep moving forward. Why are you ok with talking to yourself this way?
You know what these are? Excuses! Excuses to not look at who you are, what you want and how beautiful and imperfectly perfect you are! Excuses not to take that first step towards your dreams, out of the land of “good enough”. Excuses not to take care of your “inner home” as you do your physical surroundings.
We all have our “excuses”. The difference is… will you be the one, that despite these feelings, who chooses to relinquish the excuses and focus simply on what you have within? Or will you continue to be the victim and never be truly happy?
Often, as women, we view self-compassion as the monthly trip to the salon or the few evenings at the gym, maybe a dinner date with a friend. While these activities are nice, they are not charging your soul.
When I worked in my corporate job, I thought that I was practicing self-compassion by going on a shopping spree or getting a pedicure. But, at the end of the day, I was always left with the same hollow feeling, something vital missing. That vital piece? I was not nourishing my soul, not replenishing any of the love and energy that I was handing out to others, quite honestly, just to be loved and accepted back. I was thoroughly depleted, mentally and physically. I no longer felt a spiritual connection to anything, which left me more sad and lonely on the inside.
I needed a change! I now have daily habits that bookend my day. I begin the day by setting intentions and reviewing my vision. I also meditate for a few minutes before I even get out of bed. At night, I work in my gratitude journal, I read an inspiring article or book, I review my vision statement and meditate. This is what I have come to learn are my self-compassionate acts. The practice fills me with energy and excitement as well as hope in my life, grateful for what I have and the promise of what can be.
My mom reminded me a few weeks ago, never compare your beginning to someone else’s middle. It’s an awesome reminder to be gentle and loving to ourselves as we navigate new waters ahead. Even if those new waters are simply learning to love yourself.
It’s also a reminder to enjoy our own, individual journey. Don’t deprive yourself the luxury of every experience along the way by comparing yourself to what others have and do!
I have included a list of questions that I continue to use on my own self-love journey.
- When was the last time I took time alone, to reflect and just be?
- When was the last time I did something I enjoy, and really savored the time?
- Do I know what it is that I do enjoy?
- Have I lost track of what “makes me sing”?
- Do I put others ahead of me because that’s what I think I should do?
- Do I let others decide how I spend my time?
Many of us believe, that if we considered these questions, we are being selfish, egotistic or vain. You are a mom, a wife, a provider, a worker, etc. You are all those things but you are also YOU. Where have YOU gone? Many of you are nodding in agreement saying, “Yes, where have I gone”?!
It’s not selfish to practice self-compassion, it’s self-full! After all, if your cup is not full, how can you have anything in the “pot” to give others? You build up anger and resentment. You drain yourself of energy and deprive yourself of even starting the journey much less enjoying it! That seems pretty selfish to you and your family!
I urge you, no, I dare you, to learn to practice daily self- compassionate acts and give yourself the gift of inner peace and serenity that comes from these acts.
“It’s not your job to like me – it’s mine.” – Byron Katie
Each day, why not make a conscious effort to love yourself?
