It’s been a year! 2020 was a rollercoaster of emotions as we adjusted our lives to pandemic living. Given the seemingly endless trials and tribulations, the dawn of this new year might be more welcome than any in recent memory.
One surprise gift that has come from this challenging time is greater clarity on what really matters. Maybe you’ve been relieved to have fewer invitations to dodge or happy to spend more time reading or learning new recipes. It’s this clarity that can be a vital part of any New Year intentions, and protecting this sacred space by keeping as much clutter at bay as possible will afford you more time, energy, and mental capacity to focus on your goals for the new year.
The Surprising Forms of Clutter
When you think of clutter, you likely picture piles of papers, books, and clothes, but there’s much more to it than that. Anything that gets in the way of you living your best life is clutter. Toxic relationships, fear and doubt, and outdated thinking are equally big culprits as a packed garage.
Stubborn physical clutter is often a symptom of a deeper kind calling for your attention. It’s this deeper clutter that, when tended to, can open up your world in a much more powerful way. Investigating the “why” behind not doing something can be very telling about what you’re really scared of, where your old beliefs are playing out, or where you’re operating from outdated instructions.
What is preventing you from filing those papers? Why can’t you seem to keep your dining room table clear? What’s really going on behind your procrastination?
By considering these types of questions and looking at the messages in the mess, you can reveal the secrets your clutter holds and the hidden benefits you may receive by not clearing the clutter at all.
Does any of this ring true for you?
- “If I don’t complete a task or project, then I don’t have to do the next thing. And that’s a good thing because that next move is scary/intimidating/overwhelming.”
- “I’m much more comfortable living in pursuit. I like to chase the dream. It’s exciting. After all, what if the finish line isn’t all it’s cracked up to be?”
- “Striving to make a change gives me a sense of purpose. Who would I be after making the change? What purpose would I have then?”
- “I know who I am when I am trying. I don’t know who I am when I’ve succeeded.”
This reasoning points to the core clutter underneath the surface that really needs your attention.
By keeping too many plates spinning or too many ends untied, you distract yourself from the most important work — the soul work that requires you to face uncomfortable truths or risks bigger than you ever have before.
It’s in that scary stuff that all the juicy goodness lies.
The Secrets in Your Stuff
The type of clutter you struggle to clear or where it tends to accumulate can offer important clues to the real issues underneath. Let’s look at some familiar clutter hotspots and their common core clutter counterparts.
Kitchen: The heart of the home. When stubborn clutter persists here, evaluate your boundaries to be sure you’re clearly communicating your needs and not overgiving to those closest to you. Doing so breeds resentment and creates clutter in your most treasured relationships.
Bedroom: The soul of the home. Clutter here indicates a lack of self-care. Do you struggle with believing in yourself? Do you consider yourself a priority or do you tend to always put others before you? If your bedroom is a problem area for you, take a close look for limiting beliefs around self-confidence, worth, and value. For clues, listen to how you talk to or about yourself.
Office: The money center. If your office or office area tends to be messy, tune into your money mindset to see if there’s a fear of playing bigger. Clutter here relates to a feeling of safety in staying small and of not claiming your space in the world. Work on your beliefs and fears around standing out and criticism and give yourself permission to try and fail.
Now let’s take it one step further and look at our physical and emotional clutter.
Relationships: If your circle includes toxic or draining relationships, focus on setting boundaries, strengthening your self-worth, and eliminating beliefs that tell you you’re not loveable. You teach people how to treat you, so treat yourself how you want others to behave toward you.
Mind: Do you feel like your mind is always racing? Keeping a busy mind is a way we keep ourselves “fake busy.” It’s a protective mechanism that prevents us from making bold moves and is actually asking you to slow down and take a breath. Work on emptying your brain so you can hear your soul and connect to yourself more deeply. When the mental chatter gets too much, grab a pen and paper and dump your mind.
Body: Yes, extra pounds on your body are their own form of clutter. Weight clutter speaks to a fear of vulnerability, a fear of standing out, and a suffocation of emotions. When you struggle to shed extra pounds, check out the expectations you hold for yourself, your beliefs around showing up for life, and any need for strengthening boundaries with others and yourself.
Examining the reasons behind your struggles to let go of the people, thoughts, and things that no longer serve you invites a loving, compassionate energy into your life that can quiet any self-criticism. Since no long-standing change comes from a self-punitive place, it’s in your best interest—and in the interest of your New Year goals—to be gentle with yourself.
Yes, you can be gentle and still make progress. Gentle = small steps.
Brainstorm the small steps you can start with to make these positive shifts. For example, if you want to improve your financial health, start by setting up a system to make bill paying easy. If that feels too big, start by getting in the habit of sorting your mail as soon as you bring it into the house, recycling what can be discarded and organizing what needs your attention.
If you find yourself avoiding the action step you’ve come up with, it’s likely an indication that it’s simply still too big. Sometimes you’ll need to break down the steps to what seems like a ridiculously small move — I call these “super small steps.” Maybe you recycle the junk mail and worry about organizing the rest later. These small steps have a snowball effect. The more small moves you make, the faster the energy will build and the sooner you will get into the flow.
Need to make a phone call you’re nervous about? Start by writing the number down on a sticky note and putting it on your desk.
Want to improve your diet? Choose just one healthy meal or snack today.
Tired of avoiding that person’s calls? Write down what bothers you about him or her.
Your mind may tell you these moves aren’t big enough, however the best way to accomplish anything is to use super small steps to get good at getting started.
You hold the power to make the changes you want, which can be both exciting and scary. Protect your precious resources of time, energy, and space, and be kind and inquisitive as you stumble. See each “failure” as progress. The benchmark of courage and success is showing up as fully in your life as possible. What happens outside of that is gravy.
