Every single one of us faces moments when we’re standing in the messy middle of a big decision, trying to figure out which way to go. Maybe you’re wrestling with leaving a job that looks great on paper but feels soul-crushing. Or perhaps you’re considering a relationship change that terrifies and excites you in equal measure. Maybe you’re debating whether to move across the country for a fresh start, even though it means leaving everything familiar behind. In these moments, it’s natural for your thoughts to keep circling around and around.
I’ve spent years studying how people navigate these crossroads moments, and what I’ve discovered is that clarity rarely comes from endless contemplation. It comes from creating space for discovery—a place where you can explore your choices with curiosity and creativity.
This is where Choice Mapping comes in. Prior to 2013, my perception of choice was pragmatic and cerebral. While I sensed the significance of my key decisions, I didn’t connect the dots or fully explore how each choice created ripples through my life. Some choices were big and consequential, others small and barely noteworthy. Some I made consciously and intentionally; others were made nonchalantly with little thought for their ramifications.
Then one day, seeking clarity about a significant decision, I created what would later become known as a Choice Map. What began as a personal experiment to make sense of one meaningful choice evolved into something far bigger than I’d ever imagined. As I shared this approach with others—friends, family and clients—I witnessed something extraordinary. People began discovering insights they’d never considered. The maps revealed patterns they hadn’t recognized and wisdom they hadn’t accessed.
Now, over a decade later, after mapping hundreds of choices—from college graduates to CEOs, from career changers to empty nesters—I’ve come to see Choice Mapping as an introspective conversation with yourself—one that helps you explore your choices from new angles and uncover insights that might otherwise stay hidden. Instead of adding more analysis to your decision-making, it creates space for your natural wisdom to emerge.
At the heart of mapping is the art of asking yourself good questions that expand your thinking and widen your perspective. These questions spark an internal dialogue that guide you beneath surface reactions to deeper understanding of what you value most.
Here’s how to begin:
- Create Your Sacred Space
- Find a place that inspires your creativity
- Gather paper and colored pens
- Take a moment to center yourself—I like to put my hand on my heart and take three deep breaths
- Draw a circle in the middle of your page and write the choice you’re contemplating inside it
Once you’ve created this space, you’re ready to dive in. This is where your curiosity starts to lead the way.
- Begin Your Exploration
Start with these questions (but let your curiosity guide you):
- Why does this choice matter to me?
- What could hold me back from making this choice?
- What could become possible as I step into this choice?
- What actions will I take to bring my choice to life?
Create branches radiating from your circle with a question per branch. Capture your answers in smaller branches. Write your answers in short, clear statements. Each branch becomes part of a larger dialogue with yourself.
As you answer, notice what stirs within you. The real magic often begins when you follow the thoughts that surprise you.
- Follow the Thread of Discovery
Each answer often leads to new questions. When an answer intrigues you, draw another branch from it and ask a deeper question. For example, if you wrote “I want more freedom” on one branch, you might ask “What does freedom mean to me?” or “What’s holding me back from feeling free?” Keep following the threads that catch your attention.
As your map grows, you may begin seeing connections between your answers. Circle the ones that surprise you or feel especially meaningful. Come back to these points and ask, “What else wants to be discovered here?” This process helps you move beyond surface answers to uncover deeper truths about your choice.
As your map starts to expand, it’s easy to get caught up in ‘doing it right.’ There is no “right” there is just what’s true for you.
- Listen for Your Inner Wisdom
Notice which parts of your map draw you in. Pay attention to the answers that resonate most deeply. These natural responses are your guideposts.
Some helpful tips to enhance your practice:
- Use different colors to represent different aspects of your exploration
- Leave space for new insights to emerge over time
- Remember there is no correct way to map, only a desire to do so
- Date your maps—they become a beautiful record of your journey
Your map is more than words on paper; it’s a mirror reflecting what’s within you. Let it guide you toward what you need to see next.
Choice Mapping is particularly powerful when you’re:
- Exploring a new possibility for your life
- Discovering deeper patterns in your choices
- Creating a vision for your future
- Seeking to understand yourself better
What makes Choice Mapping unique is how it helps you look at your choices impartially, taking responsibility for your actions while maintaining compassion for yourself. It supports you in holding yourself accountable for your thoughts as well as the consequences of your decisions, allowing you to continually learn from and apply the lessons of your choices.
As you begin, remember that the practice of Choice Mapping is about embarking on a journey of self-discovery. There’s no perfect answer waiting to be found—only your truth waiting to be discovered. Each choice you map is an opportunity to know yourself more deeply.
Start with one choice. Draw your circle. Ask your first question. It doesn’t need to be perfect—it just needs to begin. And if you need encouragement along the way, I’m here.
