One night, as I was lying in bed, I was in deep reflection about the journey I’ve taken in my intimate relationships – the ups and downs as well as the triumphs and disappointments. I pondered, why was my journey in love riddled with such heartache? Why did I put up with an abusive boyfriend? Then get involved with yet another man who was covertly controlling? Why, why, why? For too many years, I felt resigned to settle in unfulfilling relationships.
Now let’s fast forward to today – I feel amazing gratitude reflecting on how far I’ve come. I was wondering why it took me so long to get to this place of grace.
I realized the answer was smacking me in the face, but I was too blind (or proud) to see it. I was an independent woman, yet very unhappy. Frankly, I felt confused. I was able to achieve in life but not in love; it was embarrassing.
I Was Unknowingly Being a Man Hater
You see, I was a child of the 70s raised in New York City. Back then, the “don’t need a man” attitude was pervasive. It was engrained in me that I can “Bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan” and “Not to depend on others”. I even had the quintessential pinstripe power suit. Little did I know, I would be burning my chances at love in this same frying pan I was bringing home the bacon in.
It’s true, I don’t need a man. But rather, I wanted a man – my companion and my protector. I couldn’t experience this, because I was a woman who desired to have a “partner in crime”, but viewed men’s intentions with suspicion. I desired to have a man cherish me, but I didn’t want to honor “the man”. So how could I capture a man’s heart if I was too busy beating up the man? The Universe delivered men who were in alignment with my negative beliefs.
I rationalized my lackluster love life, by saying to myself, “It takes a strong man to be with a woman like me.” “Men are intimidated by me.” “Men aren’t looking for smart, independent women”. And the list goes on. Have you ever found yourself uttering these same words?
To Understand and Love Men
I had to turn this belief around so 17 years ago, I went on a quest to understand and love men. I wanted to master the “essence of man”. I was studying men as if I was learning a foreign language. The more I learned, the more I loved and the more I loved, the more profound, deep and satisfying my relationships became. I was finally bringing home the bacon and loving men at the same time!
This is what I teach my clients and students today – to master amazing self-love, bask in their divine feminine power and love the “essence of man”.
This awareness has allowed me to enjoy an amazing relationship with a man who spoils me with his time, attention, care and wealth. He has included me in his intimate world. He’s taken me to Europe in high-style. And, we enjoy monthly weekend rendezvous’ with our sassy friends. He has defended my honor and been my cheerleader. He’s been a strong supportive man who admires the woman I am. This all happened because I decided to stop hating men and start loving them instead.
I Had to Identify the Essence of My Energy Vibration
The divine feminine is designed to be the perfect complement to the divine masculine. This is the symbiotic nature of the masculine and feminine – the essence of Yin and Yang. The Universe created us this way so we could continue to thrive as a species.
Are you a woman living in your masculine and denying your feminine? I was, so take a look.
| The Essence of Your Energy | ||
| Feminine Energy | Masculine Energy | Men crave to experience, and be in the company of, a woman who is his divine compliment. A woman who can soften his rough edges. A woman who feels secure within his strong arms.
VS
A carbon copy of himself |
| Gentle Power | Rigid Power | |
| Open, Welcoming | Push, Take | |
| BEing, Receiving | DOing, Fixing | |
| Nurturing | Aggressive | |
| Receptive | Projective | |
| Soft, Delicate | Firm, Strong | |
| Collaborative | Dominate | |
| Fluid Structure | Set Structure | |
| Water (Venus) | Fire (Mars) | |
| Vulnerable | Guarded, Protected | |
| Alluring, Captivating | Predator | |
When you’re ashamed of aspects of being a woman, how can a man love you as a woman? This goes against the principles of the “Law of Attraction”. You attract who you are.
Keep in mind, to be feminine doesn’t mean you can’t be firm, fiery or take initiative. It means you can be assertive with your gentle power. It means you can show your softer side that desires to nurture your relationships. It means you’re secure within yourself to know when to take the lead and when to follow. Relationships are give and take, ebb and flow.
How can you shift this belief?
By Rocking Your Divine Feminine to Compliment His Divine Masculine
Here’s a paradigm shift Goddesses – women are naturally alluring, but we’ve forgotten how to embrace this aspect of who we are. Authentic seduction is having the ability to entice someone to do something they WANT TO DO anyway. You do this by providing a safe place for a man to come out and play with you.
Ladies, this is what men really crave to experience with you…
- A woman who is confident and knows what she wants without being overbearing.
- A woman who is proud to be in her feminine essence and appreciates him being in his masculine nature.
- Men are mesmerized by a woman who’s comfortable with her body and loves the skin she’s in, because this shows your self-confidence.
- A woman who understands the male mind and flexes her intellectual prowess.
- A woman who can let down her hair by being flirty and fun. Not only does this make him feel good, but you’ll feel yummy as well.
This is how you can start to step into your feminine power:
- Trust your intuition (inner wisdom) vs striving for perfectionism
- Be open to receiving praise, love and joy with grace
- Focus on your good traits
- Identify all your alluring qualities (your eyes, smile, hands or womanly curves)
- Emphasize the wonderful things that make you uniquely you
- Give yourself praise vs being overly critical, and
- Pamper yourself because you deserve to be loved…by YOU!
Let’s be real, old habits die hard, so you have to feed your mind – thoughts, feelings and a belief that’s more appetizing than the old belief that’s trying to hang on for dear life. Be a champion for you and you’ll attract a man who will be your knight in shining armor. Love who you are, so you attract a man who can deeply love you.
Loving your divine feminine nature will make you feel most satisfied and happy in life and love. From this, your sexy self-confidence springs forth!
If you embrace my pearls of wisdom, you will attract a man ready, willing and able to commit to YOU! Now it’s time to take some yummy action to attract that juicy love!
