One of the most amazing leaps an awakening woman can make in her journey is to recognize how her personal power comes from making adult decisions and better choices.
Sometimes we can get lost in reactive behaviors, old hurts, and their wounded self and we don’t realize we are trapped in a stage of childhood that limits our personal growth and relationships.
It’s important to journey through your inner emotional landscape and embrace your emotions. Reflecting and working with your inner child helps you face and heal unresolved grief and unmet needs from childhood.
This grief can feel like depression, controlling behaviors, anger, intimacy problems, and poor communication skills.
A mature woman who is expressing her authentic power must face and heal these hurts in her journey towards wholeness.
Becoming whole and healthy means embracing your warrior – the emotionally mature adult inside of you.
Sometimes we don’t even recognize the grown-ups we are supposed to be because we either are stuck in a childhood or teenage stage in emotional development or we simply didn’t have appropriate role models or support systems.
Relationship difficulties show us that our inner adult needs to emerge with a new set of truths, standards, boundaries, guidelines and strategies.
If you see and feel a pattern of imbalance, constant fighting and shutting down in your relationships or if you’ve developed unhealthy behaviors and reactions, you can start to look realistically at yourself and make some changes now.
This can become an opportunity to nourish and activate your inner warrior to make sure he or she is alive and well!
Your inner warrior is a person who is authentic, truthful, and willing to grow, learn, and accept his or her own flaws and mistakes. She develops attitudes and behaviors in relation to herself and her environment, which lifts her past childishness and dependency.
Here are some of the characteristics of an emotionally mature adult:
- Appreciates the opportunity to grow and accepts criticism gracefully
- Does not expect special consideration from anyone or have a self-inflated sense of entitlement.
- Controls his/her temper but can express anger or frustration in healthy ways.
- Meets emergencies with calm and poise.
- Is not easily hurt or wounded by others.
- Doesn’t leak her power, tales responsibility of her own actions without blaming others.
- Has outgrown the “all or nothing” stage, and recognizes that no person or situation is totally evil or purely good.
- Has shed the “bratty phase” and has learned that she is not the center of the universe and must often adjust to other people and situations.
- Can endure defeat and disappointment without whining or complaining.
- Does not worry and obsess about people and situations beyond her realm of control.
How you strengthen your inner warrioress is all about raising your standards!
When we have higher standards, we feel good about ourselves, we go after what we want, we remove obstacles, we melt away poor self-esteem and we improve our life, step by step. Standards help us ask for more and up level.
Standards are the actions and behaviors we hold ourselves to. When we raise and honor high standards it increases our ability to attract high quality people and opportunities.
- Is not given to boasting or “showing off” in socially unacceptable ways.
- Be happy when others enjoy success or good fortune.
- Develop strong boundaries. Know where another person ends and when you begin.
- Be aware of when you are “fault-finding” or complaining.
- Plans things in advance rather than trusting to the inspiration of the moment or leaving things for others to handle.
- Show kindness, patience and good manners, especially with those who are less capable, sophisticated or mature.
- Create core values, guiding principles, beliefs or values that create the framework for decisions and actions. Stand by them.
- Learn how to be solution-oriented rather than needing to be right.
- Feels comfortable with a wide variety of people and situations.
- Experience and understand your own deepest feelings and needs, and express your feelings and needs in appropriate and constructive ways.
- Act on and react to life circumstances with intelligence and wisdom.
- Be flexible in response to life’s changing circumstances.
- Channel energy, both positive and negative, into creative contributions to yourself and the community.
- Don’t indulge in destructive habits or behaviors.
Our personal foundation gets stronger, we feel more energetic, we are more focused, opportunities open up and life flows with ease.
This is what I’ve been processing the last month and I hope it’s useful for you. Check in with your current standards.
- Do you allow energy drainers and drama queens to suck time and energy?
ACTION: Identify and eliminate anyone and anything who is draining your energy.
- Do you feel supported by the people in your life?
ACTION: Get more support and create a support system, join a mastermind, people who have BIG vision and will encourage you, enlighten you.
- Are you doing meaningless, menial activities that don’t excite, inspire or motivate you?
ACTION: Make a choice – delegate it, dump it or do it yourself.
- Have you committed?
ACTION: The energy of commitment is like a supernova. Make your commitment huge, keep firm boundaries so the “energy drainers” don’t reappear.
- Do you have a vision for your life? Or are you just floating along from season to season, party to party, boyfriend to boyfriend?
ACTION: Create a impactful vision of what you want your outcome to be as you raise your standards in an area of your life.
- Are you tired, exhausted, resentful, angry, pent up, repressed?
ACTION: Take a look at what not raising the standard is costing you. Emotions, money, energy, time.
- Do you have discipline?
ACTION: Put the process in place to support each standard. A daily routine, a manifestation practice, visioning and action. Put your process in your daily routine.
- Do you celebrate every time you exercise your power?
ACTION: Reward yourself every time you raise a standard.
Create an action plan to eliminate what’s draining you and give your self more time, resources, energy, people, networks, ideas, creativity than you need.
Make room for success. Let go of 5 things you no longer need.
Life is about power. Raise your standards. Own your life. Own your power.
