At this time of year, we all get excited for a fresh start and lots of possibilities. By the third or fourth week into the year, we start to fizzle out. Our energy drops, our new routines get hard to keep up, winter blah’s appear and it’s easier to go back to the old, comfortable routines. Then, we start to feel inadequate and like a loser because we gave up and are back to the same old “thing”. We create our own perpetuating stories about ourselves and what we feel we deserve, or more often, what we don’t deserve. We replay the same movie over and over again.
This is what I call “playing small”. You get super excited to make changes and start living like you want, only to return to the same old routine because it’s easy and safe. Life kicks in, fears kick in and you make excuses like, “I don’t have time”, “It’s not going to work anyways”. These excuses deprive you of the respect you deserve to reach your dreams and live a life you love rather than tolerate. It’s time to stop the excuses!
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle
Aristotle’s advice to us is simple. If we want to achieve our “best” life and achieve our dreams, we cannot play small, we cannot give up when things get hard or uncomfortable. Otherwise, we become what we do, quitters before we barely get past the starting line! His words are to inspire us to keep going, to lean into the discomfort and make progress until we create those habits or behaviors that lead us to the life we crave to live. Rather than react or give in too quickly, respond to your new habits, meaning allow yourself to be uncomfortable when the new habit starts to get hard. Think of it this way. When you stretch during exercise, rather than quit when it starts to become a little uncomfortable, you lean into the stretch until you feel your muscles give way and you take the stretch deeper. It’s almost like a door opening to a new level of stretch. Leaning into your new habits can reap the same reward! Doors open to a whole new level of life experience.
My hope is that right now you are saying, “yes, I want to open new doors, help!”. One way to stop playing small and create life changing habits and behaviors is through persistence. I recently read, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill and persistence is one of the keys to living an abundant life. One of my strengths is persistence and I often rely on this when things get a little “hard”. I get scared plenty but my motto is “keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will get where you want to go”, along with, “I am enough”. Without persistence, we play small and we give up. We make it easy to tolerate what we have rather than thrive.
According to Hill, the necessary steps to gaining persistence are:
- Creating a definite purpose backed by a “burning desire” to achieve it. This relates back to defining your vision and creating clarity about what it is you really, really want. Without this, there is no burning desire to create it.
- Creating a definite plan. I firmly believe in writing out your plan, it “cements” the want in place however allows you to refine the plan when necessary. Keeping your vision in your head creates unnecessary information that you need to drag around and it allows you to easily dismiss it when you want.
- Preparing for the “bullies”. You need to build a wall against the negativity from family, friends and acquaintances. Build your positivity muscle. You can do this by creating the clarity or the purpose that ignites that burning desire inside of you and drives all of your actions and decisions, regardless of what others say.
- Creating an alliance with one or more people that will support your dreams and hold you accountable to your action plan.
Creating persistence towards your actions and decisions will help you gain traction towards living your dream life. The time is now, you have waited long enough! Don’t give yourself the opportunity to play small, GO BIG!
My challenge for you is to begin building your persistence muscle. Think about which one of the steps may be a challenge for you. Brainstorm ways that you can eliminate these challenges before they present themselves. Will you need support to help you with these challenges? If so, engage someone right now. Don’t give yourself the chance to play small!
