“What if we let whatever is bothering us to just be, not judging it as good or bad? It just is.” ~Lara Jaye
When I glance back briefly over my life’s journey, I can easily see behind me a string of disappointments. Suffering. Pain. Sadness. Lost love. I also see a string of wonderful surprises and blessings interwoven to make up my entire life’s tapestry. Which one I choose to focus on determines how I feel at any given moment.
Sometimes, all I see and feel is what is happening in this moment. If I’m not careful, those unmet desires and disappointments could send me into a curled up ball, or even propel me to give up. I’ve given up to the disappointment many, many times. Sometimes, several times a day!
To be disappointed means to be discouraged by the failure of one’s hopes or expectations. When you’re feeling down about a recent expectation or failed hope, life can seem awfully dismal. Hope gives you something to look forward to, to believe in, even trust. When that hope is shattered and the shards are everywhere, the question is, what now?
A little spark of hope inside was the only thing that kept me going on some days. It felt like that was all I had. On numerous occasions, my spark felt doused and no embers remained. The key word here is FEEL/FELT. I have a friend who says feelings are like farts… they come and go quickly! Something we need to remember this when we are having an emotional moment.
What happens when someone lets us down? What happens when we lose our hope? Or expectations aren’t met? If you are like me, you throw things around and scream for a while! Just kidding, but I bet it would feel good. As I move through difficult times, I look back see a clearer reflection of my journey—all of it, the pain, and the pleasure. The sadness and the joy.
My whole experience makes up who I am today. Without one, the other can’t exist. It’s in the middle of the opposites that I try to reside. Centered, balanced, focused, not being attached to either/ or. Just being. What if we let whatever is bothering us to just be, and didn’t judge it as good or bad? It just is. How would that feel? What would happen if we didn’t react to the drama playing out around us? We allowed it to be.
By answering these simple, yet complex questions, as difficult moments greet us, you will bring Your Soul’s Calling to the forefront. You will no longer be able to deny the true you. You will know who you are and why you are here on earth. You will allow what is to be. You will KNOW you are ENOUGH. You will no longer judge yourself or others. Instead, you’ll embrace the perfect moment as it is, no matter the emotion it produces.
It’s important to:
- Recognize when we are adding to the drama.
- Notice what is happening around us and inside of us.
- Live in the moment.
- Recognize resistance or fear, and feel it.
- Allow what is to be and not judge it as good or bad.
Lately, I seem to have to answer these questions almost daily. My roller coaster life challenges and new business have pushed me to pursue my soul’s calling on a level I can hardly comprehend. My bestselling book, More Than Enough, almost didn’t get written. The fear inside of me about showing the world whom I truly am, almost won. The resistance I felt to finishing this project nearly caused me to give up. Because I’ve been there before, it was easy to recognize the pattern.
One morning as I was finishing a chapter of the book, a fear overtook me that I can’t explain. Of course, instead of writing, I read emails. In God’s perfect timing, Dr. Christiane Northrup’s email newsletter came through with these words of wisdom:
To birth something new, whether that’s a baby, a book, a seminar or talk, a new relationship, or a new career, you have to have courage and faith. You also have to be ready to embrace change. Change is tough for many. As humans, we really want things to stay the same. We’re creatures of habit—and so am I—even for small things. You may not be aware of this, but it’s possible to give birth in an orgasmic way. Believe it or not, the energy that gets the baby in gets the baby out. And that’s true biologically, but it’s also true in your personal life.
To tap into this incredible and powerful energy, you’ll want to learn to ‘surf with’ change. When you feel resistance to change, be present with it. Grieve for what’s no longer going to be there. That’s the only way to usher all the good stuff in. You have to feel it and move forward to give birth to the new thing. Remember that when the good stuff comes in, it brings in joy. And joy can flush out the loneliness, the fear, and the other ‘stuff’ that is no longer serving you. I have stood by while hundreds of women gave birth to beautiful, normal babies. Just before the time to start pushing came, nearly every woman would say, ‘I can’t do this! I can’t do this! I don’t know how to do this!’ And, suddenly, there was a beautiful baby. While she didn’t know how to do it with her intellect, her body, and nature knew just what to do. You know how to do it, too. And your intellect may be the last thing to catch on. Have faith. Have courage. Keep breathing. And simply know that you’re programmed for new beginnings.
Dr. Northrup’s statement, “I can’t do this! I can’t do this! I don’t know how to do this!” replayed over and over in my head. That’s when I combined my own advice with Dr. Northrup’s encouragement, got still, and began to recognize and notice what was happening for me. I stopped verbally abusing myself for feeling the way I did. I honored what was happening, and allowed it to just be. Then, I had to make a decision. Was I going to hide the rest of my life and deny the world my gifts OR was I going to finish this book and live out my soul’s calling?
Obviously, I chose the latter!
©2017. Lara Jaye. An excerpt from More Than Enough: Discover Your Limitless Potential and Live Your Bravest Dream. www.LaraJaye.com
