10 Ways We Sabotage Our Personal Power & How to Reclaim It

Owning our personal power and showing up in our authentic truth is the key to creating a fulfilling life. Many of my clients have shared that they struggle with giving away their personal power. For some, that disconnection from their truth has led them to play the role of the victim, rescuer or even the persecutor in their lives. I’ve been there too in the past. When I look back with loving compassion on my journey, I can identify the times I gave away my personal power. Of course, I didn’t intentionally create those experiences—they happened by default because I was allowing old beliefs and patterns to run my life. When you consciously choose to respond to life from an abundant sense of worthiness, awareness and enoughness, you begin to reclaim your power and cocreate your desired life. 

Understanding Your Personal Power 

Let’s talk about personal power. Personal power is generated from within us—not from outside ourselves.  It’s our connection with our Source and an origin of strength and energy inside of us that encompasses our true inner qualities, beliefs, values, experiences, skills, and knowledge.  I see it as our self-confidence and inner strength, our determination, and our resilience.  It’s our honesty, passion, and assertiveness, and how we treat ourselves and others.  Our personal power represents the truth of who we are and the fullness of our human spirit.  

Here are 10 ways you may be sabotaging your personal power: 

1. Ignore your personal desires, beliefs, and your truth.  
2. Act or react from any position or lower-level emotion of lack.    
3. Find yourself focused on fear, guilt, or overwhelm about the past, the present, or the future.  
4. Feel the need to justify or rationalize the way you feel, the thoughts you think, the actions you take, and the desires you have.  
5. Allow feelings of powerlessness or stuck-ness to control your actions or inactions.  
6. Give your power over to other people or situations and play the blame-game.  
7. Refuse to trust your intuition and instead let your inner critic/ego to call the shots.  
8. Fail to embrace self-love, self-compassion, and kindness 
9. Refuse to accept or allow in help or compassion from others.  
10. Feel bad in any situation.  Lack never feels good.  

When we give away our power, we are out of alignment with the wholeness of who we are.  We step into the drama triangle, and it becomes easier to fall into a victim consciousness and a sense of powerlessness or stuck-ness with no way to get out.  We cannot see the options that surround us and may not be able to discern whether the beliefs and imprints we acquired are really the truth of the person we have become in the now.  The world can seem as though it’s against us and the future seems dim. The empowering news is that it’s within your power to elevate your energy and reclaim your power. 

Here are 8 Keys to Reclaim Your Power. 

It’s time to step back into the wholeness of who you are and reclaim the fullness of your human spirit.  Start where you are and begin incorporating one or more into your life and consciousness. 

1. Awareness.  Notice what you are noticing.  Pay attention to the thoughts you are thinking, the words you are saying, and the emotions you are feeling.  Are the beliefs imposed on you through your life experiences the truth for you now?  If not, change them.  Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmation.    
2. Tune into Your Body-Mind-Soul.  Our body is a beautiful and powerful communication device.  It’s an energy container that receives, holds, and emits energy in every moment.  When you do not feel good, aren’t standing in the full truth of who you are, or following the wrong path, your body, mind, and soul will whisper to you.  Your body will let you know in the form of aches and pains and if we ignore these, will progress into various states of dis-ease.  Your mind may seem restless, unsettled, or irritable and the inner critic voice inside will turn up the volume.  You may feel disconnected with your soul, spirit, or heart-connection.  Notice these things and make immediate changes to alleviate whatever is happening.    
3. Recognize Your Personal Power.  Acknowledge that you possess personal power.  Own it. Accept yourself, flaws and all.  Be intentional in your thoughts and actions.  Realize that you are an amazing human put on this Earth for great things and the world is a much better place with you in it.  You are worthy.  You have value. You are enough.  You matter. Your wellbeing is worth your attention and investment.  
4. Ask for Help When You Need It.  You don’t need to have all the answers.  If you don’t know something, say so.  If you need help, ask for it.  Powerful women seek assistance and feedback from others and allow the resources in.  This powerful move also increases credibility and respect leading to higher personal power.  
5. Set Personal Boundaries and Stand in Your Truth.  Don’t allow others to abuse, misuse, or steal your personal power from you.  Remember that when it comes to boundaries, even a little “no” is a “NO”.  Always stand in the truth of who you are and what you need.  Respecting your personal boundaries feeds your personal power.  
6. Empower Yourself and Others.  Lead with integrity, kindness, compassion, and love.  Realize that each woman is on her own path and it’s not your responsibility to take on her “stuff”.  Forgive yourself and others. Stay out of the drama triangle.  If you feel like a victim – shift.  If you are feeling you need to rescue – pivot.  If you are playing a persecutor – back off!   
7. Focus on Grounding and Alignment.  This may seem difficult in a society that rewards non-stop action and commitments, but fitting in quiet time daily allows your creativity to flourish and solutions to present themselves.  Grounding and aligning enables you to build connection with Source and strengthen your personal power.  
8. Face Your Fears.  Living in fear is not only fruitless, but it also robs you of personal power.  We all have fears at one time or another, but learning to process and release fear-based low vibrational energy also rebuilds higher vibrational personal power.  

It’s time to live the full expression of who you are.  You’ve got this!

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