Prior to embarking on my spiritual journey, life was rather predictable. Certainly not boring or average, but not too much drama. Then, everything changed when I ‘woke up’ and connected with who I really am.
In other words, I awakened to my Soul Purpose, why I am here.
That awakening shifted everything, including leaving a seven-year marriage. At the age of twenty-two, I had married a man basically to please my parents. There was no deep connection, but it was tolerable. Honestly, I didn’t know what a deep connection felt like never having had one.
Then one afternoon, sitting in bumper-to-bumper L.A. freeway traffic, I suddenly realized I deserved more. It felt like someone had shaken me out of a stupor.
The next day, I lovingly explained that epiphany to my husband. He didn’t argue or try to convince me otherwise. A month later we amicably filed for divorce, ignoring the lawyer trying to instigate animosity between us.
During that time, my interior design business began struggling when I realized I didn’t want to work with people’s egos for a living. Then, much to my astonishment, people reached out wanting me to teach them what I had learned about spirituality and self-development after a number of years of study.
Twelve people arrived in my living room by word-of-mouth and kept arriving. Soon, I opened a healing center. Then, a few years later, I created an eco-friendly shop/gallery selling handcrafted, spiritually based items and local art. This was way before people knew what “green” even meant.
Those life-changing things happened, along with scores of others, because I ‘woke up.’ It challenged me to question everything about myself and my life.
What does it mean to wake up?
Although everyone is different, waking up often means discovering aspects of yourself that you didn’t know existed. You start to understand what triggering feels like and become conscious of not acting from a reactive place. It means being aware of energy, knowing what’s yours and what’s external to you. It frequently means learning to listen to and trust your intuition and spiritual wisdom.
All of that started happening when I began digging deep to find subconscious memories brought from past lives. That allowed me to understand the puzzle as to why my life was the way it was. It showed me what I’m here to clean up, compete, express, share. It provided impetus and trust to do so.
It also gave me an understanding of the Big Picture of my life. Like why that person I was madly in love with between husbands was not supposed to marry me. Why my career as a designer was not the direction I was supposed to take. Why I needed to open a shop and struggle for 21 years. Even why my second husband suffered a massive stroke and survived.
Although the journey I went through was monumentally challenging, looking back, it all makes Perfect sense. Everything I experienced, especially the difficult paths, brought me where I am today, exactly where I need to be. Every event presented a Perfect mirror exposing what I was here to learn, reflecting everything I was in denial of about myself.
This retrospective view allowed me to understand why I would “sign up” for those challenges. It could have been easy to get stuck in victimhood, continue to whine “why me?” and miss those invaluable spiritual lessons.
I embody the notion that sometimes it takes shake-ups to wake up.
Signing Up for Challenges
The lessons I learned could not have happened in any other way. Big Universal Ones such as patience, integrity, truthfulness, trust, authenticity, deservingness, compassion. And, of course, the meaning of Real Love.
Chances are, those might be your lessons as well. They are why most of us chose to be back here.
They are part of what’s called a “Soul Contract.”
Soul Contracts are your Divine Plan, the loose blueprint that you create, along with several higher consciousness spirit ‘consultants’ in the between lives realm. You also talk over plans with those you’ve been here with previously, agreeing to the roles you will play with each other, the tasks and trials you will go through, the lessons you will present.
Soul Contracts don’t assert that everything is pre-destined. To some degree there’s “wiggle room” for free will in your choices. Of course, you can do things that go against what you agreed to do this life, but eventually you discover why you shouldn’t have made those choices.
Plus, according to your soul, even choosing “incorrectly” is a lesson you needed to go through to help you listen when making your next choices.
Soul Contracts present a list of the “karmic baggage” you are here to clean up, as well as the best way to do it. It reminds you about what you didn’t do in the last lifetime (or lifetimes) that you need to do in this one.
As a personal example, even though students kept arriving, it took me quite a while to trust that I was supposed to be teaching my Perfect Life Awakening program. The voice in my head kept saying “Who do you think YOU are teaching people this stuff? You don’t know anything. You’re just a seeker like they are!” And blah blah blah.
Then, during a meditation, a series of past life memories showed up unexpectedly. I was shown rapid successions of images of all the lifetimes I’d been a spiritual teacher, each time not completing the task. Usually, I would let fear stop me. Or I would choose an easier direction. Occasionally I would just ‘forget’ what I was supposed to do.
Most often, I would commit suicide rather than stick with the purpose I had signed on for.
As the meditation wound down, a powerful message appeared: “This lifetime is your last opportunity to do what you came here to do.”
Well, you can imagine how that awareness shifted everything for me. My commitment became stronger; my reason for teaching became my top priority. Every time I wanted to give up, get a ‘real’ job or wonder if I was crazy to be doing this, I would be reminded of that serious proclamation.
So now?
A few decades after that revelation, arrival in my classes slowed down drastically. Then, quite unexpectedly, my extremely healthy husband had a massive stroke.
I started teaching out of my home again, but then the pandemic happened. Teaching remotely was challenging to say the least.
Since I am just as committed as ever to spreading this important information, I am exploring the why of these roadblocks. More life lessons? More karma to clean up? Ahead of my time (as I usually am)? Am I just supposed to be writing more books?
Then, I remind myself: The more committed one is to being an authentic Higher Consciousness being, the more challenging life you chose.
Which translates to mean, this tough period is fast tracking my evolution. Again.
You Chose It
I hope my story helps you understand why certain things have happened or are happening in your life. You have chosen the tough route simply because you want to evolve.
And remember: Life is happening for you, not to you. You chose it all to learn your individual karmic lessons as well as those Big Human Lessons. Lessons that advance your soul. Lessons that awaken you to full acceptance of self and others. Lessons to discover and know your power, your Purpose. Lessons to learn about trusting yourself; to start believing that you deserve; and to experience joy and presence in every moment.
Your spirit knows. It knows because it designed this blueprint. It’s constantly trying to lead you to follow that chosen path, to keep you on track, even through seemingly impossible challenges.
From a soul perspective, know that you are being led to your Highest Truth. Eventually you will understand all those “whys” in your life’s Bigger Picture.
Remember: You are not only steering the ship, but you chose the ship, the crew, the route and the weather report.
As the somewhat altered saying goes, ‘You never choose more than you can handle.”
And clearly you chose to be here during these challenging times because you were ready to assist the world in its transformation from fear to love. You knew exactly what you were doing when you made that choice. We all did.
