When you can’t seem to get your relationship where you want it, you probably do what most people do: ask for advice.
You might ask your mom, your neighbor, a sibling, or even someone in the community group you’re a part of.
Most people ask for relationship advice because they’re stumped by their particular relationship challenge and go looking for a game-changing nugget that’ll bring relief from the fighting, the lack of intimacy, the cold shoulder, or whatever is going on.
But instead of game-changing nuggets, you get exactly what you asked for: advice. Worse, it’s not advice for your relationship. It’s advice for you personally.
Now hear me out for a moment. Think back to a time when you asked someone close to you for relationship advice or shared your struggles with them, which implies that you’re asking for their advice.
Instead of explaining the relationship dynamic you’re facing and how to solve it, you instead get a response that’s about you.
You may hear comments like these:
- “You don’t deserve that!”
- “You are SO right!”
- “You’re being perfectly reasonable.”
- “I can’t believe they said/did that to you.”
- “That’s not fair!”
- “What a jerk!”
- “You shouldn’t have to put up with that.”
Reread that list and ask yourself:
- Are these actual solutions to your relationship challenge? Nope.
- Are they supportive comments for you personally? Yep.
- Does any of that help you solve anything in your relationship? Nope.
While it’s lovely to hear supportive things from the people who care about us… the problems we are facing are RELATIONSHIP problems. And we need RELATIONSHIP SKILLS to solve them.
Before coming to Paul and I for relationship solutions, our students would do what most people do: reach the end of their skill set, turn to friends, family, or co-workers for relationship advice, and come away with no advice, advice that didn’t help, or (yikes) advice that made things worse.
One of the main problems with advice is that not all advice is created equal. It’s not because the people you’re going to for relationship advice don’t mean well.
They do mean well. They’re on your side, they think you deserve to be happy, and they want you to win.
Therein lies the problem. Their advice is based around what they want for you personally (and their support for your “side”).
It’s also very likely that they have no idea how to solve the relationship dynamic you’re navigating, and it’s not because they’re bad or stupid people! It’s because they are not relationship experts.
Yes, it feels great to hear from multiple people that you are right, you’re not crazy, and that your partner is wrong.
The problem is, hearing that you’re right solves nothing, so once that feeling of validation fades, you’re still faced with the pain of not budging an inch on solving your relationship challenge.
Solving your relationship struggles requires relationship solutions, delivered by someone who knows both human relationship dynamics and knows which solution(s) you need for your exact situation.
With our Relationship Development Method, that is exactly how Paul and I serve our students.
Paul and I have been doing this for over a DECADE. We’ve faced all the things, answered all the questions, and helped thousands and thousands of people solve every kind of relationship dynamic you can imagine and most likely including the exact situation you’re facing right now.
We don’t give advice to you. We provide real solutions that actually work in real life because they are based on the relationship dynamic you are navigating, and the skill sets needed to solve that dynamic.
Think of the 3 biggest and longest-standing arguments that you and your partner keep having. The ones that you don’t even bring up anymore and avoid. Well, it’s extremely likely that we have already built the tools, solutions and skill sets to solve all 3 of those already.
So, the next time you are seeking advice, before you go asking your friends, family, counselor, or the lady at the grocery store, who would help you if they could, give yourself the biggest advantage you can and come ask the people who have proven the solution to the challenge you are facing.
Not once, not a few times, but a huge number of times, for over 10 years. Countless students have already solved the issues that will come up for you just in the normal course of being in relationship.
Shouldn’t you get to be next?
To get started with the proven relationship solutions that solve real relationship challenges in the real world, check us out at www.RelationshipDevelopment.org.
