I can think of many times in my life where I inadvertently gave away my personal power and stepped into the role of victim…or rescuer…and even the persecutor. Looking back with curiosity, these times didn’t happen intentionally; they happened by default. I wasn’t aware I was giving away my power to another person, institution, or situation. I let life happen to me instead of choosing to direct my life in a positive and empowering way in those moments. I let myself forget my own beliefs and desires and did not stand in my truth. In those times I was acting and choosing my responses and reactions from various states of lack instead of from an abundant sense of worthiness, awareness, and enough-ness.
So, let’s discuss for a moment what personal power is.
Personal power is generated from within us. It’s something we own and something we hone. It’s our connection with our Source and an origin of strength and energy inside of us that encompasses our true inner qualities, beliefs, values, experiences, skills, and knowledge. I see it as our self-confidence and inner strength, our determination, and our resilience. It’s our honesty, passion, and assertiveness, and how we treat ourselves and others. Our personal power represents the truth of who we are and the fullness of our human spirit.
Some ways we sabotage our personal power become evident when we:
- Ignore our personal desires, beliefs, and our truth.
- Act or react from any position or lower-level emotion of lack.
- Find ourselves focused on fear, guilt, or overwhelm about the past, the present, or the future.
- Feel the need to justify or rationalize the way we feel, the thoughts we think, the actions we take, and the desires we have.
- Allow feelings of powerlessness or stuck-ness to control our actions or inactions.
- Give our power over to other people or situations and play the blame-game.
- Refuse to trust our intuition and instead let our inner critic/ego to call the shots.
- Fail to allow self-love, self-compassion, and kindness.
- Refuse to accept or allow in help or compassion from others.
- Feel bad in any situation. Lack never feels good.
When we give away our power, we are out of alignment with the wholeness of who we are. We step into the drama triangle, and it becomes easier to fall into a victim consciousness and a sense of powerlessness or stuck-ness with no way to get out. We cannot see the options that surround us and may not be able to discern whether the beliefs and imprints we acquired are really the truth of the person we have become in the now. The world can seem as though it’s against us and the future seems dim.
How do we stop the madness and reclaim our personal power? Here are eight important keys to stepping back into the wholeness of who we are and reclaiming the fullness of our human spirit.
- Awareness. Notice what you are noticing. Pay attention to the thoughts you are thinking, the words you are saying, and the emotions you are feeling. Are the beliefs imposed on you through your life experiences the truth for you now? If not, change them. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmation.
- Tune into Your Body-Mind-Soul. Our body is a beautiful and powerful communication device. It’s an energy container that receives, holds, and emits energy in every moment. When you do not feel good, aren’t standing in the full truth of who you are, or following the wrong path, your body, mind, and soul will whisper to you. Your body will let you know in the form of aches and pains and if we ignore these, will progress into various states of dis-ease. Your mind may seem restless, unsettled, or irritable and the inner critic voice inside will turn up the volume. You may feel disconnected with your soul, spirit, or heart-connection. Notice these things and make immediate changes to alleviate whatever is happening.
- Recognize Your Personal Power. Acknowledge that you possess personal power. Own it. Accept yourself, flaws and all. Be intentional in your thoughts and actions. Realize that you are an amazing human put on this Earth for great things and the world is a much better place with you in it. You are worthy. You have value. You are enough. You matter. Your wellbeing is worth your attention and investment.
- Ask for Help When You Need It. You don’t need to have all the answers. If you don’t know something, say so. If you need help, ask for it. Powerful women seek assistance and feedback from others and allow the resources in. This powerful move also increases credibility and respect leading to higher personal power.
- Set Personal Boundaries and Stand in Your Truth. Don’t allow others to abuse, misuse, or steal your personal power from you. Remember that when it comes to boundaries, even a little “no” is a “NO”. Always stand in the truth of who you are and what you need. Respecting your personal boundaries feeds your personal power.
- Empower Yourself and Others. Lead with integrity, kindness, compassion, and love. Realize that each woman is on her own path and it’s not your responsibility to take on her “stuff”. Forgive yourself and others. Stay out of the drama triangle. If you feel like a victim – shift. If you are feeling you need to rescue – pivot. If you are playing a persecutor – back off!
- Focus on Grounding and Alignment. This may seem difficult in a society that rewards non-stop action and commitments, but fitting in quiet time daily allows your creativity to flourish and solutions to present themselves. Grounding and aligning enables you to build connection with Source and strengthen your personal power.
- Face Your Fears. Living in fear is not only fruitless, it robs you of personal power. We all have fears at one time or another, but learning to process and release fear-based low vibrational energy also rebuilds higher vibrational personal power.
Two books I have enjoyed regarding this topic include “Living With Joy: Keys to Personal Power & Spiritual Transformation”, an Orin Book by Sanaya Roman and “Activate Your Inner Power: A Book of Guidance Messages” by Lee Milteer.
I happily look forward to what unfolds for the powerful, amazing woman that you are!
