Ever since I can remember I have loved to write. If I could sum up my memoir in six words it would be “I live to write and heal.” As an adolescent, I called it my diary. This was my own special place where I could record my thoughts, my feelings without anyone criticizing me and without judgment. Sometimes I was consistent with writing, sometimes I wasn’t, but in the back of my mind, I knew this was something I could turn to as a safety net. Little did I realize back then how influential writing was for me in my self-development until later on in my adult life. It was in 1998 I believe when my sister introduced me and my father to The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. I was in between Jobs, and even though I had chosen a particular career path, I felt something was lacking. I couldn’t figure out “what that something was, “but intuitively, I knew. And of course, as you seek, so you shall find, and the universe plopped a beautiful gift that got me closer to my goal. The Artist’s Way was what you can say my formal introduction to Journaling. A commitment I made to myself was writing three full pages everyday first thing in the morning. What occurred eventually was tapping into deep depths of my consciousness, tapping into deep depths of my soul, and finding a voice that I took for granted. There was a voice that was guiding me, and by doing this ritual everyday it was pushing me to become more in tune with my authentic self.
Writing eventually became a habit during the time I followed The Artist Way. Soon after, I was employed as a therapist working with trauma survivors –more specifically women who were survivors of Interpersonal Violence. It was then, another book landed in my lap which was called The Journal to the Self by Kay Adams. I was amazed to find someone that actually used the journal formally as a form of self-discovery, personal growth, healing, creativity, poetry, and spirituality. In this Workbook, journaling exercises were provided for all realms of life. It was an addition to my therapeutic work, but it also paved another path for me on a personal level. These exercises were safe, and it was something that one could turn to over and over again when needed. Little did I realize at that time, that this very manual would be one of the healing tools when my father passed away shortly after.
When one is struck with grief, it is a pain that no one can understand but you alone. Luckily there is support out there to help individuals process the grief. However, sometimes, that isn’t enough. And for me that wasn’t enough. So I turned to my journal. And this is what I found: I found out that the journal is like a vessel. I can pour in there as much as I want, and it simply contains it. It is okay to be you even if you are angry, upset, sad, happy, confused and anxious. I found out that the journal helps me face the truth regardless of what my circumstance with compassion. I found that my journal drew me closer to God and my higher self. I found that my journal was calling out to me to write. I found that my journal was showing me how to be myself amidst the many demands of this thing we called life. I found my journal to be a place where I learned to commune with nature. I found my journal to push me to take risks when otherwise I would dare not to so. I found my journal to help me make major life decisions. I found my journal to be an instrument for healing on many levels. And last but not least, my journal not only made the grieving process more acceptable, but it also helped me see beauty in death.
Thirteen years later, I have been consistent with using this as my personal companion. It has gone with me on my many travels, it has helped me through the many changes in life – being a mother, a wife, and maintaining my identity as a woman. I am happy to say that as I write this piece, I am a Certified Journal Facilitator. I have also been running a blog for the last two years which in my wildest dreams I never thought I could do. And last but not least, I am writing consistently – not only in my journal but writing pieces that are being published. I realize that just like I found this treasure, I want to share it with others because it has been such a valuable transformational tool for us as human beings. As my instructor, Kay Adams says to us over and over again “Our fears are simply our fears, nothing more my fears are just my fears – they have no truth or no light my fears are simply my fears.” Sometimes our fears are in our head, but when we have the courage to write them down, there is a sense of release and we feel free. That is what journaling does to our soul. It allows us to be free and comfortable in our own skin.
