Have you ever had one of those days where you plan to do work, go running, drop a child off at a playdate, drive the carpool, stop at the farmers market… then all of a sudden you look up and it is 7:00pm, you are not sure what to make for dinner, the house is a mess, and – what was it you did today, anyway? Certainly nothing on your list!
Well I have had many of those days. I can get more done in an hour than the average person can do in a week. But at the same time, 8 other hours can just speed by with my kids and work and other things all in a blur, and I am not entirely sure what happened or how dinnertime arrived so quickly. Do you know what I mean?
Ever since I had kids, I feel like time has taken on a new life. Sometimes the days can seem so long as I eagerly await the kids’ bedtime, for time to myself or with my husband. On the other hand, I feel the years go way too fast. I feel it is a gift to experience time at different paces — both the slow, mindful pace of childhood, and the get-it-all done mama mode. I have come to call this notion of time “the mama minute.”
Busy moms get more done in a shorter amount of time because they have to. Kids go at their own pace because they live in the present. And the world moves at a fast clip, with no mind to moms or kids – it just goes. How can we get in synch with our kids, tap into the power of now, and enjoy the present while getting done all we need to get done? The answer is to stop following the clock, and follow a rhythm instead.
When you create and follow a rhythm, you know what’s going to happen next, so you can just enjoy where you are and know the next thing will just come. Your morning routine is a rhythm: get up, brush your teeth, dress, eat breakfast, head out the door; you might have a rhythm around bedtime, going to yoga after work, or to Grandma’s each Sunday. With rhythm, you’re doing each task within a structure you planned, made a habit, and know you can trust; you’re not judging whether you’re winning or losing by the tick of the clock, constantly worrying about what has to happen next.
The pressure of the clock particularly gets in the way around food — a fully packed day that leaves no time to sit for dinner together, too many activities that keep us from cooking from scratch at home, and having to just focus on surviving each busy day. By creating structure and planning your rhythm, you can move more seamlessly through time and enjoy family dinners, homemade meals and time together without stress.
I know many people who think of structure as restricting, but it can actually be quite freeing. Routine is forced, while rhythm is enjoyable. With rhythm you get into the flow and can enjoy the moment; with routine, you expect what is next and spend your life excited about the future or dreading it.
I think many of us busy mamas come to dread dinner, packing lunches, navigating food at birthday parties, getting out the door in the morning, grocery shopping, little league snacks…
So how can we lean into the “mama minute” and get a healthy dinner on the table or look forward to packing healthy lunches and feeding ourselves and our children well everyday? Here are a few things that have helped me:
Set an intention: This is the most important thing I do to help create days that feel really good. An intention is a positive goal that you really feel you want to achieve, big or small. Maybe you want to feel lots of energy, or you don’t want to yell; maybe you want to reconnect with your husband, or you want to lose 10 pounds. Set intentions yearly, monthly, weekly, and daily, and write them down so you are getting your goals out of your head and in front of you, where you can start to take action on them.
Create a rhythm: If I am chopping veggies for my lunch salad, I chop whatever I need for dinner. When I get home from the grocery store, I prep anything I can before putting it away. Each Sunday morning, I bake for the week. How long tasks take may vary day to day or week to week, but following activities in a sequence each time – following a rhythm – takes the pressure off. Moving food along this way throughout the day makes it easy to eat healthy at home. No matter where we are, weeknight or weekend, I can get dinner on the table 15 minutes after we walk in the house. Following a rhythm means you’re not dependent on the clock. When you’re constantly looking at the clock, you’re worried about what has to happen next. Get your rhythm down, and you’ll spend more time enjoying the present knowing you can feel good about the future.
Use the right tools: When it comes to making the most of your time, using the right tools is key. Great tools help you get more done faster, super powering your mama minute – and can even help you LOVE your time in the kitchen! There are a lot of great tools in my healthy kitchen, from my treasured Vitamix to my time-saving pressure cooker, right down to the silicone baking cups I pack when I travel. The criteria for “great” tools are that they’re easy to use, easy to clean, and most importantly, help you make meals and snacks that are nutritious and delicious.
Ask for support: This might be the most important tool I use to manage the mama minute to my advantage. Sometimes, life speeds by and I realize some of the most valuable things on my to-do list keep getting pushed to the bottom – like yoga, meeting up with friends, date night with my husband – and for what? Laundry, grocery shopping, carpooling, “life maintenance…” Sure, those need to be done, but life is not a series of daily tasks – we also need to live and love and connect, with others and with ourselves. How? Ask for help. We all have people around us who are willing and happy to help with the kids, and there are so many apps and services nowadays that take care of groceries, laundry, and the like. You can’t make excuses anymore! Know you don’t have to do it all, and reach out to others to help, to make room in your schedule for good food, connecting with loved ones and with yourself, and supporting a happier, healthier you.
