Maintaining unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships can drain a person’s life force, while letting go of them empowers us to shift our reality and create space for new relationships that enhance our growth. Blessing and releasing such relationships with unconditional love and integrity can teach us how to forgive our past, heal ourselves, and generate positive energy to progress on our spiritual path toward greater growth and fulfillment. If we do not break clean from an unhealthy relationship and stop investing energy in it, we will continue to desperately keep it alive while knowing in our hearts that our spirit has already left it, causing us to feel dead inside.
Many relationships come to a pivotal point where one person has grown to such a degree that the other partner must transform as well or the relationship will be in jeopardy. Usually the partner resists the natural shift that is occurring by creating distraction or drama, which ignites tension and conflict. At this crossroads, one or both partners may choose to end the relationship or use the creative energy that has been awakened to transform the relationship.
When both people take responsibility for cocreating and letting go of their relationship, they validate the purpose the relationship has served and their experiences in it. Here is an example of such an acknowledgment in the form of a letter one person wrote to their ex-partner expressing appreciation and love: “My dear one, let us always remember the purpose that brought us together and that we entered into our relationship with meaningful intention, support, and love. Let us now part in love and appreciation for each other. I release our relationship for my own spiritual transformation and hold you in the sacredness of my heart forever. Together, let’s declare a new positive intention to separate well in love, care, and mutual understanding.”
When we recognize that a relationship is over and we need to let go, we have to balance between two realities—the physical reality of the relationship and the spiritual reality that our spirit has moved on and is informing us of new future possibilities. Dealing with the physical reality may seem like visiting a gravesite where there remains a physical marker of the deceased while the deceased’s spirit has gone elsewhere. It is under such circumstances, where physical remnants of a relationship still exist within the spiritual vacuum that transitional relationships tend to occur. Although it may be tempting at such a time to “cut and run,” it is beneficial to allow time for a healthy, healing breakup. This is because we need to complete the relationship energy and review its significance in our lives to clear the necessary space for eventually cocreating another one or choosing to remain alone.
The following are guidelines for completing a relationship with unconditional love, respect, and integrity.
- Give yourself permission to let go of the relationship without experiencing guilt, fear, shame, or hopelessness. Remember, the other person has the power of choice as well, even when it looks like they’re being left. In releasing the relationship with unconditional love, you give the other person permission to love and leave as well.
- Trust yourself, listen to your heart, and use your expanded awareness to guide you. Reflect on the purposes for which the relationship was cocreated and how the needs of the partners may have changed. Consider the fact that some relationships can remain intact as partners grow, while others need to be dissolved because the partners must follow their own hearts. Also recognize that relationships can be appreciated as invaluable personal experiences even if they ultimately need to be terminated.
- Choose a safe and neutral place to communicate your desire to end the relationship as clearly and honestly as possible. Be prepared for angry or hurt reactions from the other person. Take responsibility for your choices and refrain from blaming or judging the other person so you don’t fall into the pattern of right versus wrong. Treat yourself and the other person with utmost care and kindness as you work to dissolve the relationship so the experience of it will serve you in a beneficial way as you initiate future relationships in your life.
- When a face-to-face conversation with the other person might result in too much conflict, first write a letter or e-mail to ensure clear and honest communication. Express your point of view with “I” statements and accept the other person’s perspective without blame or judgment. Then, when you feel ready to talk in person, speak in a loving tone of voice, allow uninterrupted time for each of you to express your views, and immediately stop any conversation that leads to bickering or blaming.
- Allow sufficient time for each partner’s adjustment to any changes that result from dissolution of the relationship. Do not presume that the other person is as prepared as you are mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Decide on a reasonable time line for resolving business, such as sorting personal belongings or joint properties, negotiating living space, rearranging finances, and untangling family ties and mutual friendships.
Finally, bless the relationship as you release it, transcending any negativity about the other person or the relationship. One way to do this is to invoke unconditional love and to visualize enveloping the other person with love and light energy. Acknowledge love for your own being, the being of the other person, and the connection shared, while releasing the physical bonds of the relationship. You can use the phrase “Bless and release” as a mantra or prayer to clear your body and mind so that spirit will guide you to let go and open to new possibilities. All the while, trust yourself and your connection to source, acknowledge the reasons you came together in the first place, and honor the purpose the relationship has served. Such an energetic completion allows you to appreciate the other person and simultaneously sustain a relationship with your true self. The intention to bless and release the relationship opens space for both people to transform their lives.
