Most of us prefer our normal routine to the imminent changes of life that often seem to choose us…whether we want them to or not. Change-seekers are a rare minority. However, change will come; it’s unavoidable and constant. Life has seasons; sunny summers transforming into autumns. Autumns freeze into winters, and then winters melt into springs that birth new life and new opportunities.
Spencer Johnson said: “Change happens when the pain of holding on becomes greater than the fear of letting go.” For example, we can see this, sometimes, in relationships and marriages that aren’t what they once were. Perhaps you’ve outgrown each other or you’ve grown up and apart? If this is you, it’s important to ask yourself what is it costing you to stay in a relationship that is depleting your life force rather than nourishing your soul?
Fear of the unknown and the unexpected has a way of paralyzing us, when, in fact, it is in the unknown that the whole universe is waiting to unfold. It’s exciting and creative to dive deep into the depths of your soul and that part of you that is formless yet palpably present and create from this place. I’ve learned that leaning into my fear, especially in areas that my ego likes to make me hide, is the same as leaning into my authenticity. Just behind the fear is your vulnerability and behind that is your greatest strength. It’s quite the cosmic joke that our alter ego keeps us from living in our true nature but this simple principle of leaning into fear is a game changer. Once you realize that it is only the ego using fear to hold you back, then when you feel fear about a direction or opportunity that comes your way, rather than avoid it, move towards your fear. Neale Donald Walsch came up with a brilliant acronym for fear: “False Evidence Appearing Real.”
The best strategy to build faith and invoke grace and prepare for change is simply to expect the unexpected and keep your heart open for absolutely anything. Without resistance, you are more likely to embrace change and transition easier if you are aware that life can “change at the drop of a hat” – like receiving a dreaded phone call or life altering news that may be positive or negative. Remembering, too, that all things are temporary and “this too shall pass” really helps me when I’m in a tough spot.
Change isn’t always bad. In fact, your life can be altered in an instant by meeting a new unexpected friend, or getting a better job offer or by falling in love with a life partner. You never know, and this is what makes life a true adventure full of mystery. It is in the not knowing where all the creativity emerges. This is where possibility exists at its greatest level.
Years down the road when looking back, we can see that the changes we’ve endured, and those that were truly pluses, have served us well and created new beginnings within the endings. In fact, those things that were difficult to navigate but forced us to act were exactly what we needed to propel us into our next level of greatness and perhaps what we now know to be our life’s purpose. That’s the power of change. That’s the promise of awakening. That’s the momentum of transformation.
For years, our lives (Mine and Richard’s family life) rolled along, so well, so beautifully that I began to question why we were so richly blessed without many challenges. We chose, we worked hard, we loved with open hearts. I was incredibly grateful for all our blessings, but deep down, I knew that these golden years would change. Some might say that if you think “the other shoe will suddenly drop” then you’re creating that. I, on the other hand believe that our common sense wisdom tells us that life is filled with a lot of stuff, and no one escapes the journey that is laced with joy and hardship, too. And, when the shoe finally dropped, it dropped fast! I guess you could say I’m a realist that is truly optimistic because I choose happiness and peace no matter the circumstances. I lean into my fears like a guidepost for being my most authentic self. I change what I can but accept those things that I cannot change. This is how to invoke grace and to allow life to unfold while moving in the current of all happenings. This is how to stand empowered by all change that comes your way. Enjoy smooth sailing, but when the great adventure of life comes in the unexpected, you can weather any storm with an open heart.
