Change brings on many emotions, including fear and excitement. Regardless of how you feel about it or why things are changing, one thing is certain: it’s time to let go of something that no longer serves you.
I know all about letting go, because that has been my life. Obviously that’s everyone’s life, but for me it was a regular event. My father served in the Air Force so my family and I moved around quite a bit. I lived in different countries, attended multiple schools, met tons of people and ate a variety of delicious ethnic cuisine. Lumpia, anyone?
But with every move I had to bid adieu to friends and beloved pets. Old chapters ended as we transitioned to new ones. Often it was heartbreaking, but at times the sadness was tempered by the excitement of new opportunities.
I appreciate novelty. Maybe it’s my upbringing. Maybe it’s my natural curiosity. I’m not entirely sure. One thing I do know is that letting go can mean loss, but it opens the door for new possibilities and experiences.
Since I transitioned to civilian life almost 30 years ago, I became increasingly aware that many people don’t see change the same way. How about you? What has been your experience with change and letting go?
Maybe there’s something in your life that needs to change. Or you’re dealing with a change that’s got you feeling unsettled, angry, sad, or confused.
I know how hard change can be. Just because I lived through many transitions doesn’t mean it’s easy. I’d often experience a whirlwind of emotions during the adjustment period, the length of which varied depending on the change and how prepared I was. My moods would change like the weather here in North Carolina, where we’ve frequently experienced all 4 seasons in one day.
So the other side of change wasn’t always unicorns and rainbows. It often took some time for life to feel like smooth-sailing again.
And how long that takes for you to thrive depends on your perspective. Are you clinging to an ideal of how your life should be? Are you holding onto something or someone that’s blocking you from experiencing the joy that’s waiting for you?
If you know it’s time to let go of something – could be a job, a relationship, or a mindset – I recommend the following tips:
Acknowledge your feelings. Just the idea of letting go can bring on a range of feelings, from sadness to anger. You might even spiral down into self-blame and negative self-talk. Explore your feelings and write them all down on a piece of paper or in a notebook. They’re for your eyes only so write down everything you feel.
Ask yourself how you want to feel. Despite what’s happening, do you want to feel peaceful, relaxed, excited, or optimistic? Focus on how you want to feel and choose that as often as you can, and as long as you can. At times you’ll feel anxious and uncertain. That’s a normal part of letting go, but you’re not powerless to those feelings. You can make room for joy and enthusiasm as well.
Connect to the wisdom of this experience. What is it teaching you? What have you accomplished? What would you like to do differently? You could journal about this as well. With every experience you have something to learn, and you can take that wisdom with you. Even though you’re leaving something behind, you’re bringing your valuable insights along with you.
Identify Your Values. When you don’t know what you value, it’s easy to get lost and spend time wondering what you “should” do. So what’s most important to you? Some values include freedom, passion, adventure, connection, and courage. Knowing your values helps you take aligned action when you make the change – or when a change is imposed on you. They’ll help guide you toward a more satisfying life.
Look for new possibilities. I recommend small ones, though they can be big, but they have to excite you. What would you like to do that you haven’t been able to up until now? Use your inner guidance to help you figure that out. Your new-found wisdom and values will provide extra support!
Be kind to yourself. This is highly important. It’s easy to forget about self-care during times of change, but it’s essential to your well-being. Find small ways to nurture yourself so that you feel more balanced, calm, and at ease. You’ll also have the strength to navigate through the changes.
The mere mention of letting something go will bring on a sense of apprehension. You’ll wonder how things will turn out, or if you’ll experience what you had ever again. Sometimes that’s true, but even if it’s not, you may find new and exciting opportunities and a more fulfilling life.
