You have a wild and original life to live. You have no idea how powerful you are. Yet you may be holding yourself back from your inner genius and the fierce magic of your lifetime. I know I certainly was.
I spent most of my life doubting myself. Questioning everything. I listened to experts, information, and everyone else. I tried to fit in. I broke my own heart without even realizing it. Not only that but i shut down to hearing the universe, the wisdom-whispers that could have helped me create the life i wanted.
It started when I was young. I dreamed of being a writer. But I grew up in an Orthodox Jewish family in Brooklyn, New York and “creative people were drug addicts,” in my parents’ minds. I was told I would starve if I followed my dreams. So, I did “what I was supposed to do.” I went to law school. I got accepted by and graduated from Harvard Law School. Then I joined a big firm practicing law. I felt frightened all the time. My life appeared “successful.” But it felt terrible. This was the life I had created by not trusting myself.
I finally had to learn to trust myself. I walked out of my law firm life with hardly any money and no real plan. Somehow, deep down, I knew I would be led. There had to be a way for me to live my truth, the call of my soul. It was time to start listening to my own heartbeat instead of the warnings and limitations of other people. I absolutely needed to know what could happen in this life– if I trusted myself instead of doubted myself.
At this point in my career, I’ve taught and coached thousands to trust themselves and create the work and life of their dreams. I’ve written and published four bestselling books. Now I’ve just published my fifth book called Learning to Trust Yourself: Breaking Through the Blocks that Hold You Back. It’s the guide I wish I had when I was in self-doubt and fear about anything. To be honest, it’s the guide I still need so that I can continue to let go of old stories that have held me back. I’m going further into the undiluted brilliance that takes place in my life when I listen to the voice of love inside me instead of the voice of fear.
Drawing from my book, here are five ways for you to start trusting yourself– and creating your exceptional life.
1. Follow Your Desires:
You were born with divine instincts. And yet you may have learned how to squelch your real desires to fit in or to please someone else. In my book, I say “My desires are holy. I know this because they give me energy…I am here to say yes to whatever feeds my energy, because this is my task, my assignment, my responsibility. This is the divine I serve.” What would it be like to look at your desires as divine assignments? That means you will be given a way, moment by moment, when you follow your micro-instructions, your true desire, and your breadcrumbs.
2. Champion Your own Life:
The voice you listen to inside yourself will determine your whole life. Many of us think we are being wise by being “realistic” or “practical.” But what if you are just listening to a negative voice within that is dismissing your greatest possibilities?
Of course you want to make the best choices in life. But those choices will come from self-awareness, not self-criticism. I used to think that beating myself up would somehow help me shape up and get ahead. I didn’t realize that self-criticism blocked my ability to feel my light, and to step into the kingdom of guidance and higher powers. On the soul path of learning to trust yourself, you are called to listen to self-love. This isn’t self-delusion or narcissism. This is stewardship of the authority you have been given.
3. Forgive Yourself.
Too often we hold on to what we think of as our mistakes. But the soul path of learning to trust yourself depends on this: you focus on what you learned because of a mistake. You don’t see yourself as broken. You see yourself as growing.
It’s natural to make choices that you wish you could have done differently. Yet every choice we make helps to shape who we are. For example, I am more committed to trusting myself now because I didn’t trust myself in the past and I saw where that led. The spiritual journey turns on what we do in this present moment, not what happened in the past.
4. Focus on Your Treasure Instead of the Prize
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I can feel worse when i focus on “manifestation.” The more I keep looking at what I don’t have and what I think I need to attract, the further away I feel from abundance.
Abundance comes from seeing the treasure you are and the treasure you have right now. Focus on what works in your life. See how far you’ve come. You learn to trust yourself more when you begin to pay attention to the support, messengers and benefactors that have already come into your life. Receiving calls forth more receiving and awakens you.
5. Do What You Can.
You may not trust yourself because you don’t know how to do something, or you don’t feel competent. Yet there is a part of you that does not feel helpless. There is a part of you that is connected to your light. When you are learning to trust yourself, you will need to let go of the idea of doing things perfectly. Stop telling yourself what you can’t do. Or what you “should have” done. Ask yourself, what can I do? What’s one thing I can do right now?
Your spiritual genius is always available in the present. Begin now. Start over. You will always know the right steps to take when you start listening to yourself.
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It’s not too late to create the life you’re born for. Trust yourself. When you let go of the blocks that are in your way, your wisdom is right there. Nothing is denied you. I leave you with my dearest wish that you begin to walk this amazing journey. And with this quote from Learning to Trust Yourself,
“When you trust yourself, everything becomes possible.”
Copyright © 2025 This article is adapted from the book Learning to Trust Yourself: Breaking Through the Blocks that Hold You Back. by Tama Kieves. Published by St. Martin’s Publishing Group.
