On a support call for therapists and coaches a few weeks ago, one of our members, Jess, was talking about her struggle accepting self-love. I had known her for a while and her transforming work helping people heal trauma. She usually emulates self-love! Yet now she was feeling like it was all a sham and she never had really integrated it after all.
Knowing she is a highly sensitive intuitive who was isolated in an apartment in San Francisco unable to leave because the smoke from the wildfires filled the air around her home, I gave a different interpretation to what her experience.
Not being able to breathe, go outside, or be with other humans significantly decreases our emotional bandwidth. Combine these compromises with knowing that there is no end in sight, going through a pandemic, worry about aging parents that you cannot get to, watching divisive politics, and trying to support a full caseload of clients in pain without any outside support.
Jess had such high expectations of herself that she thought these feelings of depletion were a fault of her own lack of ability. When our bandwidth is compromised, by emotional crisis, chronic pain, difficulty breathing, burnout or being an empath to feelings in the field, it is always felt intensely in our sense of worth. This makes it worse!
There was nothing pathological about what Jess felt. Nothing is wrong with her. It is what humans feel when they don’t have enough bandwidth. But she was suffering and deserve relief. On the call, I encouraged Jess be gentler with herself, prescribed her a trip out of town where she’d be able to breathe again, and to practice these five ways of increasing her emotional bandwidth.
1.Make offerings
Many cultures around the world start their day by making plant or food offerings to the earth. This is easy for any of us to do. It immediately sets your energy on dedication and gratitude to the earth. It centers your mindset on conscious intention. When you make this a practice you feel the earth aligning with and supporting your energy field as well. It helps the magic coming to you land at your feet.
Watch my video, “My Favorite Self-Care Ritual: Don’t Leave This Out of Your Morning!”
Share some of your morning tea or a morsel of your breakfast just outside, or under your favorite tree. If you are stuck inside, burn some incense, light a candle, or water a house plant expressing your gratitude and intentions for the day.
2.Prayer
At one point my prayers were only an expression of gratitude. I felt like I couldn’t ask for help since my life was better than others who were suffering. Then, I realized I was not only questioning my worth to have more ease in my life, but I was challenging the idea of a limitless Primal Source. So, I started to directly and explicitly request the cosmos to support me. I asked to help me release what I was struggling with and find the answers I longed for. Despite what your ego says, you deserve divine support for your life. It is available to you. Ask often and without hesitation.
3.Laying on the ground or submerging in natural water
This is one of my favorite ways to release tension and energy build up. It’s amazing how much we hold in this body that is not ours and not helpful to us. Being in, on and submersed in nature transforms our physical make up. In the colder months, walk in some woods, hug a tree, put a basket of rocks under your desk, or soak in a salt–water bath to get this relief every day.
4.Receiving care
Humans are social beings. We need people to support us. Have bodywork practitioners, a coach, therapist, or support group that you utilize regularly. Friends and family who send you thoughtful texts, make you dinner, and cuddle you serve this as well. Receiving care, acknowledgement, touch, TLC immediately increases bandwidth.
Worry about being too needy is a trauma reaction. It makes you more needy. Read this post: https://jodiaman.com/blog/are-you-too-needy-sensitive/
5.Bring it to intuitive knowing
When you are an empath, you have intuitive feelings called clairsentience. You feel feelings that are from other people, animals, other sentient beings, or the field. If you took a psychic step back, and observed this from outside the fray, you don’t feel it so intensely. This gives you a big picture view to gain perspective. From here, you can get the intuitive knowing (claircognizance) so you have the information to do something about it (if there is something to do) without it taking up any emotional bandwidth.
Jess was able out of town and spent a week swimming in a lake, observing wildlife, and hiking in parks. She practices all these things and felt different immediately in this context that held her rather than hurt her.
Keep in mind, if you are doing all these things and your negative context is still damaging to your bandwidth, you may need temporary respite, or a permanent move out of that context.
I really hope this helps get you through this time with energy to stay on the path of your life mission. This world needs you to feel your best self so you can share your unique and special medicine that only you can deliver!
