My husband and I have someone close to us that is struggling in a relationship. I can see it so clearly, when you’re outside of the chaos, you can see that she’s settling for less than she deserves, and this is creating a ripple effect in so many areas of her life, including her kids.
This whole situation made me reflect and it’s true that sometimes we face difficulties in life that create big dilemmas. It could be relationships, a job, new opportunities, etc., but at the end of the day, even though we don’t always have control over all the events in our life, we always have the ultimate power – the power of choice.
Every choice we make matters and has consequences; it doesn’t matter how big or small it is. Deep in our heart, we know this, and that’s what creates the anxiety and fear around making new choices. The problem is that when we don’t feel worthy enough, most of the times, we don’t think we deserve better, and we believe that we cannot have what we most desire, be it a better relationship, a better job, start a new business, etc., we end up settling for less.
- You’re playing the blame game – Things happen and people can act in despicable ways sometimes, but don’t give your power away by putting the blame on others or circumstances. Remember, we are more powerful than we think and we always have a choice to change things around in life.
- Using “someday” as an escape – You delay taking action until after “this” happens or when “that” happens because you are afraid that you will fail, or you’re afraid of the ripple effect that your choices will create. Here’s the truth, the time will never be perfect. Waiting will only keep you in the same situation, feeling the pain of self-betrayal.
- You numb yourself – You probably fill the void by watching many hours of TV, shopping, drinking alcohol and/or eating a bit more than you should. There’s nothing wrong with watching a bit of TV and having a social drink to disconnect, but when the highlight of your day, consistently, is the wine you drink at night or the hours you spend watching mindless TV, looking at other people’s lives on Facebook, etc, you’re settling for less.
- You focus more on the time and energy – when you do something, you focus more on the time and energy invested than the joy, love and fulfilment that you gained.
- You feel jealous of other people – You see other people that have more fulfilling lives, better relationships, thriving businesses, etc., and you feel jealousy or resentment. Use those people as an inspiration and celebrate their success. If they can live more meaningful and joyful lives, so can you!
Fear can paralyze us, but the only way to stop settling in life is by following your inner guidance and making the conscious choice of taking action, even if it’s a baby step every day. Also, when making decisions, ask yourself this question: “What will I regret in the future?”, that way you’ll motivate yourself to take an inspired action that feels more authentic to you.
“So many of us choose our paths in life out of fear disguised as practicality”— Jim Carey
