“When you are immune to the opinions & actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” ~ Miguel Ruiz
Feeling triggered more than ever? You are not alone. We’ve all been triggered by someone or something at one time or another. Whether it’s a physical or emotional trigger, it’s your body’s way of getting you to pay attention to what’s going on within you. Above all, these revelational moments are sacred opportunities for awakening, healing, and ultimately, transcending being triggered.
So, when the word “Transcend” came to me as one of my word mantras for 2021, I wasn’t surprised. Because when you learn to remain calm and non-reactive in the midst of any situation, you will have mastered how to transcend being triggered. In other words, you won’t be at the effect of what people say or do.
Like little motion sensors, physical and emotional reactions alert you to an underlying trauma, a self-sabotaging pattern, or emotional pain that needs to be released. Your body knows and actually shows you unresolved pain that you haven’t fully healed. These reactions may seem to come out of the blue, but the emotional pain has been buried in your subconscious for years. Even when you think you’ve worked through such pain, there can be subtler layers that surface to be healed.
Some examples of physical triggers are tightening in your chest, holding your breath, or clenching your jaw. Emotional triggers can be anger, irritation, anxiety, blame, defensiveness, or attack. Avoidance, distraction, or suppression is a way of blocking the pain of hurt, sadness, and shame. When you dig deeper, however, you will find that underneath these reactions are often feelings of insecurity, worthlessness or lovelessness.
There is spiritual wisdom in your triggers when you choose to face them. The great news is that you hold the power to transcend rather than react to anyone or anything that takes away your inner peace. This energetic power to transcend being triggered comes from your heart (soul) whereas reacting comes from your head (ego). Every person or situation in life―positive, or challenging―is an opportunity to become free of reaction, open your heart, and receive the spiritual information you need to progress on your soul’s journey.
Do you want to stop being triggered by someone or something? Especially those closest to you? Here are the 5 sacred steps I use and have taught for over two decades in my private practice to transcend being triggered:
- Recognize Your Triggers: The first step is to learn to recognize your triggers or reactions. Any physical or emotional reaction you have is a cue to pause, check in with yourself, and take time to release your reaction. Your triggers are part of your spiritual guidance system so it’s important to recognize when a past trauma, hurt, or unhealed wound has surfaced. Remember, the stronger your reaction is to a person or situation, the deeper your emotional pain. When you experience a trigger, pause, breathe deeply, and drop down into your heart. Allow yourself to feel your feelings deeply. Gently ask yourself: What am I feeling in this moment? When have I felt this before?
- Lean In and Let Go: Give yourself permission to feel your pain, sit with it, and allow it to pass through your body and mind. Notice when you feel unsettled, restless, or irritable. These are cues for you that something is just below the surface and needs to be brought into your awareness. In these moments, do a quick body scan and notice where your body is holding tension and tightness. Stay with your feelings under you feel them surface and come into your awareness. Then write about what your experience is in your journal. When you have had a history of trauma, the emotional pain lives in your body and can surface at any time. Seek out someone who you can trust completely, to talk about what you’re feeling. Just because you’ve lived with the pain and can take it, doesn’t mean you have to suffer.
- Don’t Take What People Say or Do Personally: Refrain from taking others’ reactions to heart. Remind yourself that the other person is going through their own process of self-discovery. Trust that they are on their own spiritual path, no matter what it looks like at the time. Not knowing what they need, accept that they are co-creating the life experiences they need to spiritually transform. Often the things that people say and do have nothing to do with us, but instead are extensions of whatever they are experiencing in their lives. Especially with our family, our long history tends to color our interactions with the weight of the past. When we choose not to take things personally, we free ourselves from being triggered and the emotional reactions that may occur.
- View Your Triggers as Spiritual Information. Triggers in the form of emotional reactions such as anxiety, anger or disappointment are not the enemy. They’re part of your spiritual guidance system and are there to alert you to any underlying emotional pain to be that needs to be healed. Refrain from judging them or yourself for having them come up. Viewing such triggers as “just information” will help you transcend them. Like looking through a periscope in a submarine, lift yourself up and out of other people’s drama, reactions, or processes. To remain calm, tolerant, and patient, remember what the person has said or done is just information to guide you on your soul’s path. You can easily become stuck and end up defending yourself the more you react.
- Reset to Raise Your Vibration. When you feel triggered by fear, anger, or resentment, you are operating from a lower vibration. Time to pause, reset your emotional field, and recalibrate your energy. Meditate, pray, walk in nature, talk to your angels, and connect with your spiritual guides. Not just once a day, but several times a day. Tapping into love, joy, and gratitude elevates your energy; whereas fear lowers your vibration. The practice of gratitude plugs you into the high vibration of love and this is the anecdote for fear because where love exists fear does not persist. Like a short in an electrical wire, fear short circuits your vibration and zaps your power. The energy of love, joy and gratitude amplifies your energy and sustains your power from the inside, not from something outside of you. It enhances your health and well-being and this energy ripples out to others.
How do you know you have transcended being triggered by others? When you no longer become emotionally charged by something someone said or did, you are no longer triggered by them. You have transcended being triggered when you can think about this person or the situation and not feel an emotional charge. However, avoiding a trigger by not engaging with someone is different than not reacting to a trigger. When you avoid a person to bypass the possibility of being upset by them, you still have underlying emotional pain.
When you no longer feel the trigger and you decide not to be around the person anymore – you are evolving. You have said “no” to being treated in a way that is not acceptable and “yes” to how you want to be treated. This is being responsive and nonreactive when life presents you with its many challenges for growth.
