“A (sacred) warrior is not about perfection or victory or invulnerability. (She’s) about absolute vulnerability. That’s the only true courage.” I have this quote from the book, The Peaceful Warrior, written on a neon pink Post-It® note on my desk. It’s a sacred reminder for me to let go of trying to be perfect especially when I’m putting myself or my creative work out into the world.
Perfectionism is one of the patterns I have struggled with my whole life. Growing up, whenever I couldn’t do something perfectly the first time, I would give up rather than risk failure. I withdrew into disappointment and ultimately, shame. I absorbed the negative beliefs that I was unlovable, not good enough, or unworthy that triggered these feelings of shame. Wearing this cloak of shame. I made myself invisible, silenced my voice, and suppressed my full self-expression. I was too scared to step out of the shadows and be seen with all my flaws and imperfections.
If you had asked me years ago if I saw myself stepping out of the shadows to share my wisdom with the world, I would have said hell no. Even though I’ve known all my life that I was called to be a spiritual leader. Even now, there are moments I still want to hide and remain invisible because I’m afraid of not being “perfect.” Yet, I’ve come to realize that embracing all the messy imperfect parts of me allows me to see my divine perfection.
To discover your divine perfection, you need to courageously excavate all that inhibits your full self-expression. You must give yourself permission to make a mistake and mess up. As Anne Lamott writes in her book, Bird by Bird, “Perfectionism is a mean, frozen form of idealism, while messes are the artist’s true friend. What people somehow forgot to mention when we were children was that we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here.” Your greatest mistakes, biggest messes, and super failures are your best teachers. So, don’t be afraid to make big ones, you’ll take a quantum leap in your spiritual growth if you do.
Embracing your imperfections may feel uncomfortable—but when you do it enough, it will eventually put you in touch with your most authentic self. It leads you to letting go of who you think you should be and becoming who you really are. Living authentically is like singing karaoke. At first, you may be anxious; yet each time you let go and surrender your need for perfection you begin living “out loud.” Your mind may still race with thoughts such as, “I’m afraid to make a mistake, or, I can’t sing as well as my friends.” Yet, when you continually override these negative beliefs with positive affirmations, and let go of what others think, you express yourself and live out loud as the divine being you are.
Here are 5 Sacred Practices to Embrace Your Divine Imperfections:
- Practice Self-Compassion: Wake up in the morning loving yourself even when you feel tired, uninspired, or depressed. Focus on the aspects of yourself that you love rather than those you dislike. Stop beating yourself up or putting yourself down every time you see an imperfection, make a mistake, or feel vulnerable. Your thoughts, feelings, and choices are all part of your human experience—even when you step in dog poop while wearing your most expensive shoes, get into a car accident, lose a job, or hurt someone you love. Lovingly speak to yourself as if you were talking with your best friend, someone you love dearly. Re-script your ruminating negative thoughts to positive affirmations such as: “It’s okay I forgot that appointment, making a mistake helps me to spiritually grow, and I’ve never done this before so it may take me a few tries.”
- Forgive Your Mistakes Quickly and Often: The greatest gift you can give yourself is forgiveness. It transforms judgment into acceptance and makes your past mistakes powerless over you. When you make a mistake or a mess, forgive it quickly and often. Bless yourself, and then release blame, shame, and judgment. Forgiving yourself allows you to create a clean slate and begin anew. Here are a few journal prompts to jump-start your forgiveness practice: What mistakes or missteps do you have difficulty forgiving? How does this interfere with your life? What’s one small mistake you can forgive? How does it feel to bless and release it?
- Focus on Your Intention and Energy Instead of the Outcome: When making a choice, focus on your intention and energy (heart), not the outcome (head). Let go of the need to make the perfect choice. This keeps you stuck and from making any choice at all. When you feel fearful of making the “wrong” choice, remember you can always choose again. And if doesn’t work out the way you thought, don’t judge yourself as having failed or messed up. Gently remind yourself that mistakes are simply opportunities to transform your life and that you are doing the best you can. Trust that they will guide you in a new direction and give you the spiritual information you need to make a course correction.
- Allow Yourself to Be Vulnerable: Let your sacred warrior be vulnerable. Spend time alone, dig deep. and have a sacred chat with your feelings of shame and unworthiness. Lean into the uncomfortableness so you can feel your vulnerable pain. Take a few deep breaths, open your heart, and allow your vulnerabilities to surface and ultimately, release. Then, write a love letter to your “inner little goddess.” Lovingly embrace her and let her know she is loveable just the way she is with all her perfect imperfections. Drop your mask (metaphorically) and allow yourself to be seen, heard, and acknowledged just for being you. Lead with your heart, share your truth honestly and openly, and dare to express yourself fully.
- Embrace the Messy Parts of You: Realizing that you are divine perfection begins with embracing all of you, even the messy imperfect parts. Instead of feeling ashamed of your imperfections, courageously embrace them and see them as the gifts they are. Don’t be afraid to make a mistake, create a mess, or displease someone. In fact, purposely make a mess or a mistake. Screw up that recipe, let yourself get dirty, paint outside the lines, and drop some on the floor. Make a mess so you can see that your world doesn’t fall apart because you do. Moreover, let go of what other people think and express yourself, heart and soul. Just be you, a beautiful, messy work in progress.
Awakening to our authentic selves leads us to letting go of who we think we should be and expressing who we truly are. See your imperfections in a new light and courageously embrace them so you create an authentic and loving relationship with yourself. To trust yourself is to love yourself even when you feel unlovable, to make loving choices for yourself even when you feel unworthy, and to open yourself to love even when you’re afraid of being hurt. Embracing your imperfections allows you to participate fully in life without holding back any part of yourself. Just be you, a beautiful, messy work in progress.
