Do you feel disconnected from your life? There was a time I did too until I discovered the power of living authentically. I woke up one cold dreary morning a few years back and realized “this” isn’t me.
This job I did, the roles I played, and the hats I wore didn’t speak to my heart and seemed instead to originate in the ego. At that time, I had been working in the corporate management world for over three decades and had seemingly lost all sense of my true self. My health was failing, I was desperately unhappy, and I had no idea of what even brought me joy anymore.
Laughter was virtually non-existent in my life. I angered much more easily. My introverted nature kept me even more isolated than ever before. I felt completely disconnected from my soul (although now I gratefully know that’s never a possibility). I had been living a life of pushing and striving and fulfilling the needs imposed on me by society, by company culture, my inner critic ego mind, and various others outside of myself. I had suppressed my authenticity for so many years I almost didn’t even recognize my true self any longer.
That grim realization hit me like a freight train. I wasn’t living authentically. I was going along with the “supposed tos” and “have tos” that life and society had invited me to subscribe to. I wasn’t always speaking up when I could have. I wasn’t expressing my true feelings fully. I was ignoring the heart whispers attempting to pull me in other directions. I was suppressing myself. I couldn’t allow it to happen any longer.
Living authentically means that you know what’s important to you and you remain focused and true to your values and ethics despite the external pressures to behave, perform, think, or live in a certain way. Sadly, over the years, I had allowed my authenticity to self slip away. I allowed these external pressures to suppress my voice and change who I truly am in many ways.
And as my authenticity was becoming buried and my internal light was dimming, my body kept turning up the dial on my health issues until I finally had to say “uncle” and come back to myself physically, spiritually, and fully. It became a matter of life or death for me.
I think that it’s easy to spot a person that isn’t living as her authentic self and intuitively we can tell immediately if we are paying attention. Don’t you think? Generally, I’ve found I have a visceral reaction to the inauthentic person pretty quickly. Behaviors like people-pleasing or blaming others for one’s actions or not following through on promises made are tell tail signs of not living authentically and these traits lead to a mistrust, dislike, and lack of real connection.
Authenticity can look differently to each individual and is very personal in nature. It has to do with how you show up for yourself, how you express yourself, how you spend your time, and who you connect with. It’s about speaking up and letting others know where you stand, even if it means being different or unpopular. It’s also about following your curiosity to see where it leads. Most importantly, living authentically is your heart’s desire and it feels really good.
Here are five benefits to living authentically starting today.
- You’ll truly understand yourself, your heart’s desires, and live on your own terms. (That’s not selfish as society might have us believe. It’s self-care and imperative to living a joyful optimistic life).
- You’ll learn to trust and follow your heart and soothe the whisperings of your judgmental inner critic. Increasing your self-trust brings true self-confidence as you become honest with yourself and your feelings.
- You’ll become more aligned and courageous as you navigate your life with more ease, grace, and flow. You’ll find yourself taking more inspired actions toward your goals and aspirations because they just feel like the right thing to do!
- You’ll develop a deeper awareness and inner knowing when things don’t feel aligned and will be less likely to follow the crowd and take an action that is not aligned with your values.
- The sky is the limit! You’ll find yourself dedicating your time to your passions and those things that really light you up and saying “no” to those things that don’t align with you.
A deeper dive into self-discovery will propel you forward into embracing your authenticity. Here are some journal prompts to get you started.
- What parts of you are you not honoring? Think about thoughts or feelings you might be hiding or interests you may not be pursuing. What excuses are you using to suppress these parts of yourself?
- Are there places in your life (perhaps in your job, with family or friends, online, or other situations) where you are projecting a certain persona that doesn’t feel quite right to you? Is there a way you can change or let go of these things that don’t feel authentically you?
- Can you remember a time where you spoke your mind about something that made you feel really good and courageous? How about trying that next time the opportunity arises?
- Is there a creative hobby you have always wanted to try? What if you committed to trying it just once this month? (The more that we follow our curiosity, the more our lives become authentically ours).
I hope that you’ll find, as I did, that when we begin to express the truth of who we are, we create stronger and deeper connections with ourselves and others. That in turn allows for more fulfilling lives and serves as an example for others to do the same. I’ll leave you today with some encouragement to seek out the truth of who you are.
“You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~ A.A. Milne
