Many of us generate a steady stream of negative thoughts. They are so automatic and subtle that we often don’t realize that we have this continual diatribe going on in our heads.
“What did you do that for?”
“Way to go, you screwed up again.”
“What’s wrong with you? Why did you say that?”
“You’re such an idiot.”
“You can’t do that.”
These negative thoughts originate from ideas programmed into our subconscious very early in childhood, then built on over time. We accepted them as we formed our self-identity–as we learned how we were supposed to be, to behave, to think.
The programming came from parents, siblings, grandparents, teachers, culture, community, religion, TV, and from our own misguided perception and self-judgment. The messages were not always verbally expressed. In fact, it was often the unspoken message that we heard the loudest and that we projected onto our identity:
“I must be bad” (You got yelled at a lot)
“I must not be important” (You didn’t get the attention you needed)
“I’m not capable” (You weren’t given the opportunity to learn; someone did it for you)
“I’m not good enough” (You were criticized, rather than recognized for your gifts)
These negative thoughts about our self and our place in the world begin to occur automatically, fading into the background of our consciousness. Repeating in a continuous-play loop, they profoundly influence the way we feel about ourselves, and how we interact with the world around us, yet we hardly notice them anymore.
Like grooves of a record imbedded in our brain, they solidify to become powerful core parts of our internal belief system. We accept them as truth, and they restrict us and limit our self-expression.
We can banish these negative thoughts and eliminate their power in 5 basic steps:
- Notice. You must first take notice of the negative thoughts that are active in the back of your mind. Become aware of them occurring. See if you can identify what triggered them? Did someone say something? Did something occur?
- Watch. Once we become aware, our task is to watch the thought as it occurs. Step back, and as a detached witness, look at it with a sense of curiosity. See it, observe it, but don’t emotionally engage with it. Wonder what it is trying to teach you.
- Assess. By noticing a negative thought but not getting caught up in it emotionally, you are able to recognize its’ distortion. Explore the facts. Look at the evidence. Recognize inaccuracy so that you can say, “No, that’s not really true.”
- Replace. Stop the negative thought and consciously switch it to one that more truly reflects reality. Not only is it more accurate, it feels better and lifts your personal vibration. This new message reflects an attitude of kindness, self-acceptance, and self-love rather than self-criticism.
“I do the best I can.”
“I matter and my needs are important.”
“No one’s body is perfect. I do the best I can.”
“I am human, therefore I am imperfectly perfect.”
- Repeat. You may need to go through these steps a few times. With practice, you can catch distorted negative thoughts faster and banish them more easily.
Through this process, you change the grooves. Your belief system is reprogrammed to reflect a more truthful reality. You free yourself from conditioned and limiting beliefs and are able to more authentically express who you really are.
Your life begins to change for the better.
“Once we begin to change our perception, our thinking, it’s amazing how other things in our lives start to change also. The domino effect begins with the first step within ourselves….” ~Kingsley Dennis
