One of the greatest lessons I learned through my pursuit for meaning, balance and happiness, and what I now share through my work with women, is that while we may not always feel happy, it is entirely possible to experience happy moments more often — so much so that we can look back on our day, and our life, and be sincerely satisfied with the way we lived it.
The following are four truths that the happiest women on Earth know. And when practiced daily, you not only experience more moments in which to feel happy, but you experience a confidence knowing that you have all that you need right now to create and live a life more of your choosing.
TRUTH #1 – True, lasting happiness lives in you, right now.
It sounds cliché, but it is, in fact, a spiritual truth that “happiness” lives inside. This is because within you resides who you really are — as a spiritual-being and as a human-being with unique characteristics, talents and experiences. You find happiness within, through your connection with Divinity — the Source of loving creation that you may refer to as God, Spirit, the Way, the Mystery, the Universe, or simply “something greater”. Nearly all spiritual and religious practices teach that when you connect to this Source of divine, unconditional love, you find peace, guidance and fulfillment, and thus… true happiness.
Practice: The happiest women have a daily practice of being loving toward others, themselves and honoring their relationship with Divinity. Even in the midst of a busy day, they take brief moments to express gratitude. They spend time on mindful breathing and connecting with a deeper part of themselves – even if for just a few minutes in their day. They do any number of things to ensure that they slow down enough to reconnect and refocus.
TRUTH #2 – You can lean on faith and persevere through any challenge.
You may not have all of the answers to your big questions in life or know how to resolve certain problems that arise, but you know that you have access to all solutions within you through your connection to Divinity. You have faith that if you simply pursue in a good direction, the rest is provided. Through faith, you have courage. The courage to persevere through any struggle — be it in your work, relationships or finances. The courage to live the life of your choosing, not of another’s choosing. And the courage to be who you are.
Practice: The happiest women have a daily practice of finding courage to pursue their dreams while taking care of their family and making the time to nurture their mind, body and spirit. Not an easy task, but they make finding balance a priority. Because through balance, they know that they are making the very best of the moments they are given. They find ways to be true to themselves, give to others, and be purposeful in living a meaningful, solutions-based life, even when those around them are focused on problems.
TRUTH #3 – All things in life are impermanent. Enjoy them and know they don’t determine your happiness… but can add to it.
I’ve spent years trying to figure out the secret to lasting happiness, seeking outside of myself for things, relationships and circumstances to make me feel good about myself. Because when I felt good about myself, I felt happy. Yet, that feeling did not last.
Ultimately things changed, people came in and out of my life, and circumstances that I was once “happy” with… (you guess it) changed. In short, all things in life are impermanent, and although they are certainly here to enjoy, they alone can’t possibly create lasting happiness.
Practice: The happiest women have a daily practice of reminding themselves that all things in life — good and bad — will ultimately change. They practice using the moments that they are given to enjoy what they can and give thanks for the people, things, and events that bring them joy. They practice not letting negative thoughts hold them back from focusing on what is good. And they remind themselves when in the midst of struggle that, “this too shall pass”.
TRUTH #4 – When you surrender what you can’t control, you open yourself to greater happiness.
Surrender is by far the quickest way to peace. And with peace, comes happiness. Buddhist tradition teaches that lasting happiness arises from surrender. It arises from letting go of the things that you have been hanging onto that deprive you of your freedom, and that deprive you of living an authentic, happy life.
Practice: The happiest women practice surrender. They practice letting go of what is out of their control and instead focus on what they can do within a given situation. From the small daily events that cause frustration, to the bigger events that cause deep sadness or suffering. They are open to letting go of what they think should be. They are willing to take action where they can and with good intention and then relax in the knowing that the rest of what they desire can be surrendered to something greater.
To be truly happy, find meaning in each day. Find the happiness that already is alive within you. Lean on your faith and know that you can persevere through any challenge. Remind yourself that all things in life are impermanent. Take time to enjoy all that you can and know that even the best things don’t define who you are; they simply add to it. And most importantly, surrender anything that you need to, knowing that Divinity is always at work for your benefit.
For the happiest people, it’s not about what they have, but about what they practice, embody and live. When you remain steadfast in an attitude of “good”, do your best to focus on the light in your life, and not on the darkness that sometimes finds its way in, you find happiness.
