You are meant to live a really lit-up and turned-on life. Devoting your energy to commitments that no longer light you up is liking putting water on a fire…it dampens your light and energy. And nobody wants to live a damp, dark life.
I have devoted my energy to so many people, projects, and things out of obligation rather than what I really, really wanted. It took me a very long time to see that it’s ok to change my commitments, to give myself permission to say no, and walk away if something was no longer right for me.
If you continue to devote yourself to a commitment you no longer want to serve, you are doing yourself a massive disservice. It’s draining your life force energy and keeping you from having the richest experiences you can have.
It takes a brave soul to actually break a commitment and move on. There’s a lot of conditioning around that for us whether it’s a marriage, a career, or whatever based on our worry about what others might say or think.
However, it’s important to honor the stream of experiences and commitments that come and go in our lives until each cycle reaches its natural completion. Life weaves cycles within cycles—some of our journeys will only last five minutes while some last a lifetime. These sacred cycles are just as important in the stages of our lives as well as nature.
Once you make the decision to confront the fears of breaking a commitment, you begin to move through the perceived challenges it brings, climbing your way out of what can sometimes feel like the abyss, and can devote yourself to what you love, living your life to the fullest. With the courage to face the dark, you become more free, more strong, and have more space for that which you will be 100% devoted to.
If someone consciously chose to stay in the abyss of darkness and fear, afraid of making a change, I might ask, “What is it you are not getting by staying there? What about living your life to the fullest, never being able to devote your life to what YOU want, something as simple as laughing more? What about dying with your song unsung?”
There’s a lot of deconditioning around choosing yourself in our society, especially for women, because we think our lives have to be about everyone else but that’s not really our belief…it is a learned behavior. Life is here for you to devote yourself to what you love. Let go of what other people think and honor yourself as your biggest commitment.
When we stay in a marriage, a job, or any type of commitment that we aren’t devoted to, we are giving our power away. Taking our power back means devoting to and committing to ourselves because that’s the person we need to devote our energy to the most. You have to say yes to yourself first.
You can still be committed to the people you love but, first and foremost, your devotion be to yourSelf. This devotion to yourself is what allows you to have the energy to keep deepening the commitments you have made and want to maintain. Conserve your energy, and only give from what’s overflowing, what’s in the saucer and not the cup, so your personal energy level isn’t fluctuating up and down.
Here are 3 supportive rituals to help you sense what you are wholeheartedly devoted to—and what you aren’t:
1. Find a quiet place inside or out in nature where you can sit and be alone. Breathe deeply in and out until you feel grounded and connected with your own inner wisdom. Light a candle and say this prayer, “I choose my commitments with great care. I devote myself only to the things and people I love while nurturing myself first because my well-being is the foundation for all I create. I allow the wisdom within to guide me in this quest”. Now, take out your journal and answer these questions taking as much time as you need. Surrender to the heart and be one with each moment in this space. Once your journaling is complete, make sure to ground yourself and close this sacred container you have created.
a What devotion do I have right now that drives me?
b. Is this a devotion that inspires me, or is it that I feel overly obligated to it?
c. What would I love to devote myself to?
2. Tap on any or all of the EFT spots, asking your inner guidance this question: What do I need to heal, release, align or bring to my awareness to deepen my devotion to myself [or fill in the blank]? Then, journal what comes up for you and take action on it. Action is, and will always be, a much deeper wisdom than words! Do this each day and notice if you have any repeating patterns coming up.
3. We are going to use the same setup as the first ritual but we are going to be looking at things we may currently be committed to that don’t have our full devotion. Find a quiet place inside or out in nature where you can sit and be alone. Breathe deeply in and out until you feel grounded and connected with your own inner wisdom. Light a candle and say this prayer, “I choose my commitments with great care. I devote myself only to the things and people I love while nurturing myself first because my well-being is the foundation for all I create. I allow the wisdom within to guide me in this quest”. Now, take out your journal and answer these questions taking as much time as you need. Surrender to the heart and be one with each moment in this space. Once your journaling is complete, make sure to ground yourself and close this sacred container you have created.
a. Who would I be and what would I choose if I gave myself permission to say no more often?
b. What would I like to say no to that I am currently saying yes to right now?
c. What obligations do I need to take off my plate right now?
Commit completely to being one with the experience of life; otherwise, half-heartedness will only rob you of the opportunity to participate fully in this beautiful, wild, messy experience called Life. Trust your journey. Trust the process.
