So much of our personal and professional success has its roots in how we manage our time and attention. Picture a surgeon performing heart surgery who stops every ten minutes to check his e-mail and text messages. Scary, right? Now, I know that would never happen . . . right? It makes me think of how distracted we can be, how our habits and behaviors serve or don’t serve us, and how we can also numb ourselves with a variety of things when we need to heal instead.
The solution relies on intention. Slow down, place boundaries where they’re needed, and align your mind with your highest priorities: the items that drive your thoughts and ambition. This will guide you to the clarity and focus to do the work necessary for success. Here are some success tips to help you manage your time, attention, and intention.
SUCCESS TIP 1: Manage Your Time
If we aren’t entitled to time, then it’s high time we learn to focus on what matters to us and eliminate anything that doesn’t support our success. Yes, I’m suggesting you stop doing things that don’t serve your best interests. Allow me to introduce you to the five D’s: Distractions, Destructors, Deductors, Derailers, and Drama. The five D’s are time and energy wasters. The good news is the repellent is in your full control and the dosage and usage.
- Distractions prevent you from giving your full attention in that moment.
- Destructors tear down or deallocate something you’ve built and pull you out of scope, perhaps even altering you or your perspective.
- Deductors take away from your life. They subtract.
- Derailers completely take you off course. They thus halt progress.
- Drama creates a spectacle with unexpected events, twists, and turns.
We want to minimize and control the five D’s in our lives by first understanding them and then learning to manage them in our lives.
SUCCESS TIP 2: Control the Controllables
Are you one of those people who feels like they take one step ahead and then several steps back? I don’t know about you, but life to me often feels like we are trying to find a cure for chaos.
Ever have a day or a string of days or even several years that feel like that? Perspective is key here, as these things mentioned certainly qualify for any of the five D’s for sure. However, life happens. As a master life coach for over fifteen years, here are some of the most common phrases I have heard from clients:
Why did this happen?
My life sucks.
I don’t have good luck.
I am not successful.
Why me?
I can’t . . . because . . .
I don’t know how . . .
Why does this keep happening (to me)?
What can I do?
Is it me?
What am I doing wrong?
I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know how to get through this.
If they would have . . . then I . . .
This is just awful.
I can’t manage.
Life happens, I totally understand. The long-term effect of even one moment can transform your life for the better or worse. Some moments call for everything you’ve got in you to handle the situation and prevail. When you encounter something that totally disrupts your normal way of life, or when things seemingly come out of nowhere and derail your safety, security, life as you are living it, well-being, and so forth, it is life-altering. This is a reminder that we can’t always control what happens, so we need to control what we are able to while also realizing that not everything is soul-crushing. Get and maintain perspective.
SUCCESS TIP 3: Create a No-Drama Zone
Ever been around someone whose life is just one thing after another after another after another and you just want off their life roller coaster? You want to move forward without their unexpected twists and turns. Whether they never have enough money or have trouble at work—whatever it is—it is a never-ending series of problems. It is almost like they feed on the discord and can’t find true peace, but they are unaware of the energy they are wasting. How do we insulate ourselves from their drama and yet be helpful if needed? Here are some ideas using the “lob” method. This means that whatever the drama or current crisis is, you are there, but you are lobbing it back to their court, like a tennis volley. The responsibility rests within them to learn how to curtail their drama and you don’t necessarily need to get sucked in.
L—Listen: Quietly listen. Don’t offer advice or say anything in response. If you need to respond, lob it back to them in the form of a question, such as “Well, what do you think?”
O—Observe: Quietly watch. Consider just stepping back to observe this person who might be a friend, coworker, or family member. You set the time frame. It could be a day or could be a month. You have the choice to observe and choose whether or not you wish to continue to be around them.
B—Be: Be there for them, but it doesn’t mean you have to solve their day-in and day-out drama. Don’t loan them money, for example. Remember, with drama-zone types, when one drama resolves, another is usually close behind.
Remember that managing your time and energy may take practice. You may even need to unlearn habits. Create distraction free times and spaces where you practice knowing what quiet is and what you need for your own mind, body and soul. This practice helps you percolate peace and bring yourself back to what is most peaceful for you when situations are busier than usual, chaotic or unexpected. Consistency and self-discipline and boundaries are excellent tools to use to manage your time and attention.
