Are you a sensitive empathic type of person? If so, congratulations! Being an empath is an amazing gift. Being able to feel what others are feeling emotionally and physically are the perfect tools for a healer. And yet until we learn to protect our energy, it can feel like a heavy burden.
As empaths we always want to help other people, we have the life purpose do so. And yet we need to keep our own energy tanks full in order to be truly of service to other people.
I have a friend who is going through a very rough patch in her life. My tendency would be to jump in with both feet, and pull out all the stops to try and help her. And I already have a full plate with my own clients, students and family situations. I could feel the deep pull in me to help her, and as an empath, I could deeply feel her pain and suffering.
My heart hurt for her and yet I know that I need to keep my balance and choose to give from a full tank.
We all have a limited store of life force energy in what I call our energy tanks. It’s like the gas tank in your car, you put gas in and drive, but you don’t expect your car to drive with no gas in the tank. And yet as empaths, sensitives and healers, we often expect ourselves to give, give and give some more without adding fuel back into our own tanks.
I am sure you have experienced the burn out that happens when we habitually and chronically over give. Learning to fill up ourselves first takes diligence and a kind of discipline that runs contrary to our generous natures.
Here are three powerful steps that help us protect our energy and keep our personal energy tanks filled up.
Learn When and How to Say No
It sounds easy, but this can be the hardest step for empaths. Since we have deeply loving and generous hearts, it feels mean to say no. And yet we need to honor our own boundary by saying no. Saying no to someone else is saying yes to yourself.
I have learned to never give an answer in the moment, since I will almost always say yes and sometimes regret it. I need time and space to really feel whether I am a yes or no to something. Try saying this: “Let me look at my calendar and I will let you know tomorrow.” And truly contemplate it. Do you have the time? Are you feeling the pull to do it? Does it resonate with you?
It’s also crucial to learn some very nice ways to say no. Truthfully, I practiced these in the mirror until I felt very comfortable saying them.
“I would love to help you, and right now I am committed to other things.”
“I am sorry, I just don’t have the time for that right now, but I am so thrilled that you are doing that.”
And the classy and super powerful “No thank you,” which is good in nearly every circumstance.
Practice Energy Management Techniques
Once we get good at saying no, we still need to learn how to stay in our bubble. Empaths are the psychic sponges of the world, we absorb emotional and physical energy from others so we need to practice daily grounding, clearing and protecting techniques.
There are many ways to do this, but my preference is to use a simple breathing technique.
- Ground yourself by taking a deep breath into your heart and belly.
- Exhale out your tailbone and down your feet. Do this a few times until your breath connects you with the earth through the grounding cord, which is like an energetic root that goes deep into the earth.
- Now clear any unwanted energy by breathing light into the top of your head, holding it in your heart and your belly, and then exhaling it down the grounding cord into the earth.
- As you exhale, imagine that your breath is flushing down any gunk you picked up from other people and from your environment.
- Release it down the grounding cord into the earth. We do this with a prayer and blessing, asking the earth to compost this gunk and transform it.
- Finish by imagining that you are in a bubble of light and nothing can cross this boundary without your permission.
If you practice this daily, you will change the habit of being a sponge and your energy field will become more robust over time.
Refill Your Energy Tanks
Everyone has their own ways to do this, since it’s a very personal process. But we can break it down into three different sources of incoming energy.
Spiritual practice– We all need to fill up our reserves by finding a way to connect to Spirit. Perhaps it’s meditation or yoga. Maybe you find your connection through being in nature. Or through a more traditional religious practice. Whatever works for you, spend time every day connecting to the source.
Creative activities also fill up the energy tanks and are fun and soothing too. Our souls love to express themselves creatively. Sing, dance and make music. Perhaps you have a love of fine arts or arts and crafts. Learn ball room dancing or pick up an instrument. Going to museums, listening to music or even just dancing around your kitchen can fill up your energy tanks and connect you back to your own spirit.
Play is the most underrated and beautifully soulful thing we can do to keep our energy tanks full. Somehow in our crazy modern world it is not deemed important anymore and yet it’s vital for our souls. Play board games, pick up a sport or just let yourself off the leash a little bit every day.
When we practice these three keys, we can live in a more balanced state that allows us to give from a full place and to protect our energy. And when we are full and protected, we can give freely and from an opening heart.
