Did you know that Carl Sagan and other scientists have proven we are all made of the same elements that stars are made of? That means you were born a star! Now follow these mindsets and tools to own your stardom and enjoy stellar success.
- FIND Your FIT
It may take some trial and error, but it’s critical to get ourselves into the situations that align with our values and who we really are, at the core. Even if it seems difficult to believe, you do belong! Somewhere, there is the right place for you. That means finding the right relationships, the right organizations, the right jobs, the right leisure, the right geography, etc.
With a little soul searching, you can find the circumstances that feel nurturing and encouraging and easy and right. If you feel like you’re dying from the inside out, something’s wrong. If you feel like something (or someone) is sucking the life out of you, something’s wrong. Conversely, if you feel energized and encouraged and inspired, then you’ve probably found your fit. And here’s a real key: If you feel valued and appreciated for the very traits that used to make you feel like the “black sheep” or the “misfit” then you are definitely in the right place! Enjoy THAT journey!
- DIM Your DARK
We all have “dark side” behaviors that can derail our relationships and careers. Becoming aware of those can be painful, and believing we need to “chisel” them out of ourselves is even more painful. For most of my life, I’ve been on the teeter-totter of perfectionist vs. chopped liver. I believed I needed to be perfect to be loveable, and to earn love from others. So if I wasn’t perfect, then I thought I was chopped liver, and totally un-lovable. Now, I’m stepping away from the chisel and the teeter-totter extremes.
Instead, I’m acknowledging and accepting that I sometimes don’t show up for others the way I really want to. (And ironically, it tends to be the people I love the most who get the worst from me.) And I’m working on the self-mastery of simply “dimming down” those behaviors when they are firing up inside of me… to mindfully protect and nurture the relationships that I cherish so much. So how do you dim your dark?
Step 1 is to interrupt your own spiraling thoughts that hold you down. Catch yourself thinking cruel or judgmental things about yourself and then stop that flow. Saying things like, “That’s enough now,” or “Choose something better,” or simply “Stop” can be quite powerful.
Step 2 is to show yourself compassion. That is, to say things to yourself that are at least as kind as what you would say to anyone else you love.
Step 3 is to change your mind. Stop evaluating yourself based upon outside trappings like perfectionism or power or possessions or being liked. (This is especially important on social media!) Instead, focus upon your inherent worth. You were BORN worthy! You are already worthy. You are already a star. There is NOTHING wrong with you! You don’t need to do or be or say anything to “earn” your worth. Look inside, and you will find your worth. Just acknowledge and ponder that thought for a while. It can powerfully change your perspective. I believe the key to self-mastery is embracing those elements of ourselves that sometimes feel the least loveable. Like anything else, it gets better (and easier) with practice. And I’m feeling much brighter when I dim my dark.
- SHOW How You SHINE
I’ve had a tendency to take my strengths for granted, and even down-play them. I thought I was doing the right thing by trying to be modest and humble. Now, I’m learning that I need to lean in to those strengths, and build them stronger by using them repeatedly. Just like repetitions with weights build biceps, reps with our strengths build influence and resilience and courage and excitement… and more strength. It’s by using our strengths that we really make a difference in the world, one step at a time. It’s by tapping our unique talents that we create impact and leave a legacy.
It’s by passionately putting ourselves out there, and showing the amazing gifts we have, that we can really live and love. What are YOUR strengths? What are YOUR super powers? How can you use them to accomplish your mission and create the world you envision? I encourage you to dream about the ways you could make a difference by unleashing your awesomeness and growing into your potential. Then, let yourself sparkle. Do the work that makes your heart sing.
Put your arms out and your head up, and take a deep breath, and show how amazing you are! The world is waiting for you! Be the (s)hero you were born to be! Show how you shine!
© Copyright 2024 Lemke Leadership, Inc. Karen K. Lemke
