Creating Sacred Moments: 3 Secrets to Thrive During the Holidays

The holidays! They’re almost here…

Sadly, for many of us, it isn’t the most wonderful time of the year at all. It’s filled with stress, too much busy-ness and a frantic pace trying to make everyone else happy. I have had women tell me that way down deep they hate the holidays.

I get it. I used to be grateful that January had arrived because my non-holiday life was actually more peaceful and less stressful than running from place to place. I was miserable and that made everyone else miserable too. It was a bad situation.

It doesn’t have to be this way. 

It is possible to not just survive, but to thrive during the holidays, while creating stronger relationships and greater health for yourself.

Sound impossible? It’s not. Today we’re going to look at three steps you can take now to help create a holiday season filled with joy, love, and even a little peace.

First, you’ll have to adopt a new mindset and this one can be tough. It also happens to be essential to your joy and peace of mind during the holidays.

1. Surrender.  Surrender means letting go of wanting everything to be perfect for everyone. When you try to control every aspect of the holiday experience for everyone around you, you end up stressed and frazzled. It isn’t pretty.

The need to control is ALWAYS based in fear and it is ALWAYS a lie. With my clients it is almost always based in a fear that the universe will spin out of control if they don’t keep a tight grip on the reins. The truth is that not one of us is responsible for the safety of the universe and we can surrender the outcomes to Divine Source. Breathe that one in and relax into it. It feels good to let it all go.

Surrender is a moment-by-moment process that carries us to a life we love.It’s okay if you’re not perfect the first time – or the four thousandth time – this is all about the practice of deciding to surrender. None of us are born surrendering, we have to decide that we’ll play with it and start doing it. Even if we don’t believe we can do it, we get to experience the joy when it does.

Exercise: Here are 3 thoughts to start playing with surrender:

When things don’t go according to my plan I can relax because it means that there is a bigger plan in play.

I take care of myself first so that I have energy to share with others.

I make space for what really matters.

2. Self-care. Self-care means taking the time to nourish yourself on a daily basis and it is essential because you can’t be exhausted and feel joy at the same time. 

You can practice self-care by scaling back your commitments to everyone else until you have some breathing room in your body. Then, start booking appointments with your Self to nourish and care for you.

As an example, I’ve just booked one massage per week through to the end of the year. I found a great therapist at a great price and I know my body will appreciate the love and healing touch. Now it’s your turn…

Exercise: What is one thing you could let go of that is draining you and what is one thing you could do that would be nurturing? Try it and see how it feels and continue deleting busy-ness and adding self-care until you can feel the calm in your body. 

Once you’ve committed to surrender and self-care, now you’re ready to start creating…

3. Sacred Moments. What is it you remember from your childhood? The golden moments? The ones that melt your heart and bring tears to your eyes?

Chances are they are rituals that your family had when you were young. Going to Christmas Mass. Singing carols. Staying up late on Christmas Eve. Watching the same goofy movie every year. 

Every successful family has its own rituals that become the defining moments of ‘holiday’. What are yours? Do you know? Have you been intentional about creating magic at these special holidays? 

It’s okay, most of us haven’t. We have a secret dream of what we believe makes a holiday special but we have never stopped long enough to get it on paper and make it a priority. We can change that now.

Exercise: Do this one with your spouse. (If your first reaction is that you don’t have time to do this please consider it a gentle hint that Step 2 needs more work.)

Set aside some quiet time to ask: “What’s important about this holiday to you?”

Record their responses. Yes, write them down. Hopefully there will be lots of things that are important to them and they may have never thought about it before. Be patient. 

Maybe they’ll say, “Days off work!” Ask what is important about the days off to them. Ask how those days off make them feel. Ask what else is important about the holiday to them. Keep going until you get to the core of their values around the holiday. 

Warning: Avoid getting angry when they’re being honest. Getting angry won’t help.

Then get them to ask you the question, “What’s important about this holiday to you?” Get your answers down and then look at them side by side. Maybe they’re totally different or maybe there is lots of overlap – either is okay. What’s important is that you have them down on paper so you can use them.

Now the two of you can brainstorm ideas for creating Sacred Moments that would contain and celebrate both sets of values. Have fun and think as far outside the box as you can.

Then bring the kids in and get their input. Tell them to think outside the box and watch how creative it gets!

Select at least one new tradition this year that is unique to your family and that you are all excited about. Do it this year and evaluate it. Tweak it and repeat it next year and suddenly you have a family tradition that is just for you. Each time you create a Sacred Moment you’ll be bringing a bit more magic into your world and a bit more love to your relationships.

With surrender, self-care, and Sacred Moments you’ll experience the hectic holiday period in a brand new way. Maybe you’ll even be able to drop the hectic and call it heavenly.